Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Fit Bitchin’ Rules

So, unless you have been living under a rock wearing earmuffs in Exuma, you know basic health knowledge such as eating healthy fresh fruit, veggies, whole grains, lean protein, and if you don't know that you have to have at least 8 glasses of water a day then I am sorry, but I cannot help you.

1. You will be hungry from time to time, deal with it.
You can’t expect to eat eat eat eat until your stuffed and full all the time, everyday if you want to lose weight.

2. Watch your portions.
Yes, you always hear “watch your portions” but watch your portions on EVERYTHING. Yes salmon is delicious and healthy for you, but it also contains fat (yes it is the good fat, the kind you should be eating) but just because your body needs healthy fat, doesn’t mean that you need to take in way more than you need. Your body requires a lot of things you can’t have too much of (sodium, calories, selenium).

3. Educate yourself about the food you eat.
The more you know about the damage caused by aspartame, the less likely you will put it in your body. Read up on sugar, refined carbs, artificial sweeteners, additives. If something grosses you out, then you probably won’t stick it in your mouth (insert obvious joke here). Read those ingredient labels!

4. Just get your ass moving
Seems simple enough. It is so easy to say that it is too late, or you have something else to do. But don’t put other things in front of your health and your goals. Be active as much as you can.

5. Two Fit Bitches are better than one
Friends help. I would be nowhere without mine. Share your daily food log with them, exchange recipes, and be there for support. No one will think you are weird if you email a detailed food list to your friend every day.
(OK, well some might think it is weird, but only the stupid people, and fit bitches don’t hang out with stupids.)

6. Drop the guilt
Who cares if it is someone’s birthday? You don’t want cake, don’t have any.
You do not owe anyone anything. You owe yourself everything.

7. Stop eating out with your porker friends
Alcoholics don’t go out with their buddies to a bar. Recovering meth addicts don’t go to face scratching contests with their doped up pals. Don’t go out with your friends to a bad food place. Find another activity to do with them, walk? Shop? Walk and shop?

8. Don’t eat with boys
Well, at least not the boys I know.

9. Find your motivation
A flat unflattering picture of yourself. A picture of yourself when you were smoking hot. A sexy pair of undies that you don’t fit into yet. The sexy pool cleaner who doesn’t speak any English. A wedding dress. All your skinny friends. A marathon. Class reunion date. Health report. A picture of another girl’s boyfriend. The day to ‘accidentally-run-into-your-exboyfriend-looking-ever-so-doable-and-fabulous’. I don’t care what it is, just find it and keep it to remind yourself.

10. Give yourself credit. You can do it
There are harder things in life than trying to be super fit and healthy. What is more important than having your health?

I am not a nutritionist, fitness instructor, or a doctor. Check with your doctor before starting any fitness routine.

1 comment:

  1. ha ha ha
    Alcoholics don’t go out with their buddies to a bar. Recovering meth addicts don’t go to face scratching contests with their doped up pals.
    oh shit that is funny