Common F'ing Sense (part 1)

Well, I have decided I am pretty tired of all the weight loss articles out there. I recently clicked on what I thought would be an interesting article entitled 50 ways to cut 100 calories. (Any article entitled “easy ways to cut calories” “simple tricks to feel full” “ways to eat less when you go out” I will always read, hoping to find a new ‘trick’ that I haven’t heard of.)

This particular “trick” I am sure you have read before:

When ordering at a restaurant, ask the waitress/waiter/server to box up half of your meal, so only half comes on your plate, and then you get to take the other half home to eat.

What? Who does this?

“Dear Waitress,
Could you please take a fork and knife and cut my food in half, then place half into a take-out container for me? I am way too incompetent to do this on my own. Also if I see all the food on my plate, I will have no idea what half is, and I will eat it all as I am a ravenous beast who cannot logically decipher what I should and should not scarf into my mouth. I have no self control, so please don’t bring the take out container to me until I am leaving the restaurant as I will rip it open and start devouring its contents faster than you can spit in my food.”

I bet servers everywhere are delighted when their patrons ask them such nonsense.

This particular article was enticing me greatly with a heading that will give me and extra 50 ways to cut calories, I couldn’t click on it fast enough.  Before I was a third of the way finished, I realized, this article just isn’t for me, it must be geared toward really huge chow hounds that have absolutely no idea what a calorie is.

The tips were telling me such things as: when making homemade baked macaroni and cheese leave out two table spoons of butter, dip my wings in hot sauce instead of bluecheese dip, have an ice cream cone at McDonalds instead of Dairy Queen, do this with your dessert instead of that. Are their people on a healthy eating diet that are eating such food? What kind of diet advice is this? I am a healthy active woman, who, like most females my age, watch what they eat. We don’t go around eating baked macaroni and cheese with ham chunks, eat greasy deep fried restaurant wings, or order ice cream cones on a regular basis. Certainly if you do order this type of food often, 100 calories isn’t going to make a lick of difference. You don’t go to McDonalds and order a burger and small fries instead of a big mac and super size fries and call yourself healthy! You are still putting crap food into your body...just a little less of it.

"I am going to start doing crack, but only a little bit of it." Please!

I want some REAL ways to cut my calories, to cut my 2000 calorie a day diet to 1500. So I did my own searching, and you know what I found? The best way to cut even more calories from my diet?

Stop eating.

Bitchclaimer:
No no no, not stop eating completely. Just stop eating so many calories! Especially on those days when you don’t burn a bunch by working out. It is really common f'ing sense.

Part two of this article will be posted tomorrow!