Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy Holidays (Day 34)

Normally I would be on suicide watch right now as this morning the scale showed an unimpressive weight gain of one pound (one measly pound, how I loathe thee), but surprisingly I am still in great spirits and an not defeated by said pound. Why? Because it is Christmas, and I have not had any desire to binge on all the yummy sweets and treats all over the place. I am totally going to kick this Holiday Season’s ass!

Today, at my lovely office (which we all know is a Mecca for unhealthyness) I saw this weird bright yellow with red dots shaped like a large doughnut. When I got closer, I realized it was a supersized rice krispie treat, but it was made with microwave buttery popcorn and jujubes in place of the krispies. I am serious. Who eats this stuff?

This massive popcorn train wreck shared the table with about 6 boxes of almost empty chocolates, tarts, cupcakes, cookies, fudge, and fruitcake....I don’t know who eats fruitcake, but it was half gone, so someone must. I think it is weird and reminds me of a senior citizens home. I cannot get over how much food is revolving through our doors, we must have secret eaters that stow the food away in their pockets and then privately mow down in their office and cubicles.

So what do you do when an 80 year old client comes into the office and brings in a plate of shortbread cookies that his wife made for us, but she couldn’t make it to the office today as the weather was so bad, so her husband brought the plate of crumbly buttery shortbread into the office for her, making the special trip JUST because Mrs. 80 year old wanted to share her family recipe for shortbread with us.


I lied and said I had a piece of gum in my mouth, and then pretended to ‘chew’, but took TWO pieces of shortbread from the plate and placed them in a napkin and said I would eat them for dessert after my lunch. Really, I threw them in the garbage. What? It was a big plate, everyone got a piece! I didn’t want to hurt their feelings; you know what old people and food are like.

Stay strong over the holidays! We can do it!

I hope everyone has a great happy and safe holiday season filled with the ones you love. Next blog will be January 4, 2010. See you in two weeks (hopefully a skinnier me will see you in two weeks).

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Day 30!!!! One Month IN! I made it :)

After a month of eating super healthy, I am starting to get sick of the same healthy meals over and over again. In January, I am going to post a few of my favourite healthy meals and snacks, and would love to encourage any readers to send in any of their favourite healthy snacks/meals. Send your favourites to and I will happily post them and give credit.

As we know, variety is the spice of life. If I am eating 6 small meals a day, that is 2,190 meals a year. If I am eating over two thousand meals, I think it would benefit me to learn as many different ones as I can so I don't get bored with the same thing. I am always on the lookout for new recipes, ideas, tips, and tricks to keep the variety level high.

I often wonder how many other people out there are just like me. We eat healthy, we exercise, we know what is bad for us and what is good for us, so why are we still not losing the weight we need? I watch all these TV shows with these fatties that eat chips and cookies every night, while they sit in front of the TV, and eat things like pizza, KFC, Chinese food, greasy store bought microwave lasagne, and burgers and fries for super. I mean, come on, CLEARY these people are fat for a reason.

But what about the rest of us? The ones who order the grilled chicken with no mayo on whole wheat bread with a salad, dressing on the side.

Who don't drink juice because who wants to drink their calories?

Who don't eat out at fast food places and have dessert after every meal.

Who take vitamins, drink lots of water, and are active.

I mean, sure...we are not huge fatties like the KFC guzzlers who think things like chicken broccoli alfredo is healthy because it has broccoli in it. Um, news flash, just because you put a vegetable on something, doesn't annihilate the rest of the fat and badness located in your meal. Think about having a cigarette that has calcium added to it. One time my aunt told her little granddaughter that she was so proud of her for eating spinach dip because it was really healthy for her. Mayo mixed with melted butter, additives, and a few leaves of chopped spinach, on top of a bacon dipper cracker. yes, so very healthy.

Sorry, I got of track there, so yes. What about the rest of us who know what is healthy and what isn't. We would be shocked to learn how much crap we are consuming along with all our goodness.

So send those recipes in! Don’t forget to put your name at the bottom so I know who to thank. Please send in actual recipes, not just snack ideas, actual recipes.
Send those recipes in by February 28, 2010.
Thank you so much.

(Fit Bitch will be on Christmas Vacation soon!)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Day 29 Go to the gym please

I am a massive klutz. Embarrassing things happen to me all the time, and really I should have a reality show. There would be a whole clip show of my gym bloopers.


I was watching the show ‘Friends’ while I was on the elliptical and laughed out loud so hard that I snorted.

I fell OFF that stupid BOSU ball. Like, right off. On to the floor.

I was swimming laps, and swam right into the wall

I slipped on my way into the hot tub

My bathing suit made a “farting” sound when I sat down in the steam room

After my shower, I was wrapped in a towel and had my hair up in a towel and hit the shower button with my elbow and got completely soaked

So, if anyone out there doesn’t want to go to the gym because they thing they will look stupid and make a fool out of themselves....just come with me.

I feel bad for girls who are worried that they will make a fool of themselves, or they will mess up in the classes, or not know how to use equipment, or just do something wrong. They don’t need to. There are people there all the time that make mistakes, and a little secret? Most people at the gym, LIKE to show you how to use something, or do something, it makes them feel like they are a pro. Plus, everyone has to learn.

The other not going to the gym excuse I don’t get is when people say they would like to lose some weight before going to the gym. What? Do you also clean your house before the maid comes?

There are a lot of out of shape people at the gym. Do not worry about that, everyone wants to see someone try. I have the cutest little old lady at my gym walking at a snail’s pace on the treadmill, it is just adorable. So just get out there and try. You will be surprise how non-embarrassed you will be. And if you are still worried about being embarrassed, just come to my gym and work out near me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Day 28 How bad do you want it?

In my life not only have I dieted many times, I have also seen my friends try different diet and fail, I have seen many bogus diets advertised, and I am not sure why the public cannot figure out that these diets are all the same.
The diets that restrict your calories? I am sure you know what I am hinting at: Have a shake for breakfast and lunch, and then have a healthy supper. Have a bar for your first two meals and then have a healthy supper. Pay us money and we will ship frozen or canned food to you and you will eat it and lose weight. Have this cereal for two meals, and then have a healthy supper. Eat only this soup, eat only fruits, don’t eat any carbs, don’t eat any fat, eat a lot of calories this day, and then eat none the next.

Why are there so many of the same types of diets out there failing men and woman? Doesn’t the general public realize they are all the same? All these diets are doing is restricting your calorie intake, it doesn’t matter how they do it or what they feed you, if you eat less calories than you expend then you will lose weight, it is clear and simple math and any idiot can figure this out.

While I am all for monitoring how many calories you consume to a degree, restricting your caloric intake with crap food so you lose weight does not make you healthy. Just because you are skinny doesn’t mean you are healthy. Why on earth would anyone pay a company a lot of money to send them canned and frozen food when they could just take some time and learn how to eat properly?

One of my old bosses (who was obese) joined a company (nutri-something-can’t say as not to be sued) and she would eat a can of soup for lunch that was so small I bet I could hold the contents of that can in one palm.

I would die if I could only eat a handful of crap a few times a day. With all the information out there, why is it that people can’t educate themselves properly to eat properly on their own?  How long can you continue eating the same canned soup for?  That old boss?  She is still obese.

Lazy. Yep, they don’t want to take the time to learn, make their own food, and be responsible for their own actions.  Of course it is easier to grab junk or not worry about adding the mayo and extra cheese to your whole wheat chicken sandwich.

How bad do you want to lose weight? How bad do you want to be healthy? Bad enough to spend an extra 30 minutes in the morning packing your food for your day at work? Do you want it bad enough that you drag your tired butt to the gym in the freezing cold? Bad enough to get up early and run? Bad enough that you CHANGE?

I am so sick of hearing everyone’s excuses:

“But I don’t have time to go to the gym”
MAKE TIME or workout in your home

“I don’t have the money for work out machines”
There are TONNES of exercises you can do without weights or machines, just your body.

“I don’t have the time to make my meals everyday”
What about the 5 hours your sit on your ass in front of the TV?

“I have no will power”
Please! Then you don’t want it bad enough

“It takes sooooo long to lose weight”
Well then be fat forever and shut up. You have 60 years left in your life and you can’t take a few months to smarten up?

“But Mcdonalds is soooo tasty”
You are killing yourself and I am dumber for having listened to you.

Losing weight, getting in shape, being healthy is hard. If it wasn’t? Well then everyone would be healthy and fit and no one would wear control top panty hose. It is easier to say “screw it, I will deal with what I am”. And, hey, if you are happy with yourself, great! But if you aren’t? Well, make that change.

How bad do you want it?

Day 27 find your healthy buddy

Weigh in day (booooo)
1 lb lighter (boooo)

Well, I must say, I thought it would be more, but I am happy not to gain. The losing weight wall, it seems to hit you harder each time you try.

Yesterday was truly the hardest day so far. Almost a month of being a little health food angel I seriously debated having a Caesar salad and white buttery garlic bread.

Everyone knows how hard I am trying and how committed I am...but when a falter came I mostly heard the following:
“Oh you have been so good, one bad meal won’t hurt.”
“Why don’t you have one cheat day a week?”
“After four weeks you deserve a little treat!”

That is not what I want to hear, I don’t want to hear people condoning the “bad behaviour” or giving me “permission to slip”. This is something I am committed to; I mean...I have to write about it in a blog for Christ sakes. It is The Get Fit Project, that doesn’t entail eating what you want and seeing what happens. I am trying to make hard core positive change but the response I get from most people isn’t “good for you” or “Wow that sounds really hard, you must have huge determination”. Instead I am inundated with questions:

“So you don’t eat ANY sugar?”
“But you already eat healthy.”
“Well just have one chocolate, one won’t hurt.”
“So nothing white you eat? Apples are white on the inside.”
“Are you doing this for health reasons, are you sick?”
“What do you mean you don’t eat over processed food?”
And my number one favourite: “You aren’t Fat!”

Yes, I know I am not a huge fatty, thank you for pointing that out to me. Perhaps you could tell me the colour of my hair? I am a little unsure. You are right; probably only fat people should eat healthy, skinny people shouldn’t bother to eat healthy, what’s the point? ARRRRHHHHGGG

I think this would be easier if I were REALLY fat. Do people force food on fat people?

So, frustrated with all this I was having a mini pity party when I received the following three motivational emails:

You cannot lose your focus because you are doing amazing and motivating other people with your blog and awesomeness. Now, f*ck right off and stay on that wagon.

If you stop now your whole month of strict work will go down the tubes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep going so by the end of winter you will be super skinny for spring dresses!!!!!

Now that you are 30 you need to be hot and thin so 20 year olds don't steal your man.

Clearly these emails are from someone who knows how hard it is to do this and can understand the humour that is involved in the constant battle of the bulge. (No, I am not afraid of losing my man to a 20 year old, it is the comedy of the comment.) I appreciate this type of motivation, knowing that there is someone else that will push you, and tell you the way it is, not pat you on the back and say “hey, eat this chocolate double fudge cookie, then we can be fat together and I won’t have to hear you bitch about how you found added sugar in everything you try to buy or that you want organic this and that.”

This is the ‘Fit Bitch Blog’. Not ‘Compassion for Fatties’ blog. It is being hard core super healthy fit wannabe, not being somewhat healthy most days and then being a food dummy on the weekends.

Yes, I get it. If you eat healthy if won’t hurt to have something bad once in a while, or maybe it will be hard to keep this up forever. But save that talk for when I am 20 lbs lighter, not when I barely make it over the 10lbs gone mark.

Are you trying to make a positive change in your life? Find that friend, the one that won’t give in with you. The one that will kick your butt out of bed for that 6 am run. Give you recipes that she found, or work out tips. The one that will remind you how you felt like an obese slob the last time you had a bikini on. You are eating healthy and working out. There is nothing wrong with that. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Listen to the people that are there to help you.

You know the old adage: “You can’t fly with the eagles if you are hanging out with the pigeons”

Eagles: Fit slim super healthy people, motivated people, people you want to be like
Pigeons: Fatties, unhealthy people, ignorant people

Find your healthy sponsor.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Christmas is coming! (Day 23)

I feel as if something is going to give this month, with Christmas just a mere 2 weeks away, the office has started with the abundance of sweets and treats.
I advised my office that I am, *ahem* "busy" on the staff party dinner night which includes the usual holiday feast: turkey soaked in gravy with mashed butter and potato slop, carrots (also coated in butter) and cranberry sugar goodness...I mean badness, and the yummiest, oh I mean the yuckiest...Stuffing.

Stuffing has all the tasty awfulness that makes Christmas and Thanksgiving the two days of the year where you eat only one meal, but yet consume enough calories to make up six meals. Now, I am not sure if you are used to dry stupid stuffing like I used to have when I was a kid, but the kind I am used too now (and need to have) is so fregging yummy, that it is hard to turn away.

Except this year. Because I am not making it, nor am I going anywhere that serves it. Sorry office, I regret to inform you I am busy the night of the Staff Christmas Party, I have a prior engagement (by prior I mean fictitious). No unlimited dessert table for me this year.

"What's wrong with Christmas dinner? Turkey and vegetables are good for you"

Yes, correct you are missy, but I really don’t think most people have turkey that isn't doing the backstroke in gravy, or veggies that haven't been mashed up with equal parts butter, and what is this yam potato with marshmallow fluff I hear so much about, it sounds like a dessert, but apparently people eat this as a dinner side. The sound of it makes me want to hurl. What if some of the fluff touches your turkey or gravy? ew.

Healthy option for Christmas diner?
1. No Gravy. Flour, fat, and salt? NO!
2. Roast your potatoes with spices and olive oil do not mash them with butter.
3. Have mashed yams/sweet potatoes (do not add butter or weird fluffy mallow).
4. Roasted squash.
5. Roasted turkey or chicken is good. Do not coat it in fat. I once saw a turkey that was covered in bacon, why was this done? To keep the moisture in. Well, if you learn how to cook a turkey right, it won’t be dry.
6. Have steamed veggies! Who says you can’t have asparagus with turkey?
7. Side salad? Yum!
8. Roasted apple for dessert, use cinnamon, nutmeg, walnuts, raisins, etc.
9. No nog.
10. Um, don’t sit next to the chocolates.

An average basic turkey dinner can yield over 1000 calories. This does not included a lot of butter or gravy, and definitely doesn’t include candied yam marshmallow, or casseroles, or anything “extra”. Add to this the before dinner treats, the after dinner dessert, the liquor, the second or third helping, and you can easily indulge in over 5000 calories for one evening.

You best get your butt to the gym for a 20 hour workout before, and after, this meal.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Rock that Tree Pose (Day 22)

Sorry about the disturbing picture, I just had to share it.

I have an ongoing love hate relationship with yoga. Most yoga classes I have attended have many things wrong with them, such as:
Really bright lights
Really hard floor
Instructors with annoying voices
A breathasaurus rex downward dogging beside me

However there are a few just fabulous yoga classes which take place in specific yoga rooms, for just yoga, not the multi-purpose room that doubles as a spin/step/BOSU/weight/cardio-jazz class.

When entering these yoga specific rooms, immediately you feel a calm descend over you. The lights are dim and not shining through your eyelids, the floor is soft wood, there is nice walls covered in soothing material, real bamboo plants, and perhaps a water fountain. The room is kept at a nice warm temperature and not the same cooler temperature as the rest of the gym, and if the yoga instructor is hot, well, that is just a bonus.

Alas, this was not the class I went to tonight.

Same room where spin/stupid BOSU/Jazzercise/and everything else is held, cold, bright, and my instructor? Well she is cute and little with a non-annoying voice. Yay!

I don’t know anyone at my new gym, so I am always trying to make new friends. A normal looking gal wearing the same back capris as I am, rolls out her cute flowered yoga mat next to me, and I say “ I like your yoga mat”, she doesn’t even say thank you, just looks at my mat (well, the gyms mat, that’s right, I don’t have my own yoga mat, I am a minority) and walks away to get a foam block.


I am scoping out the class and sizing up everyone in my head...lets see...pot smoker, poser, real yoga liker, can’t hold her child’s pose well and looks like she is getting ready for another activity and perhaps wondered into the wrong class, what the hell is that man doing here, man that girl can REALLY lift her leg.

Most times I find I get bored in yoga class, I do understand that I am there to relax as well as flexibility and strength training, but I don’t want to lay around next to all these people any longer than I have to (especially Ms. Bitch Nice Mat who keeps stretching over into my personal space). My gosh it is cold in here, I can see my instructors nips and so can the creepy old man in the front row. Ew. Is the guy behind me staring at me ass?

I need to develop my own classes, and record myself and then play it and watch me yell at myself and I will take the class by myself so no one gets in my space or snubs me with their superior yoga mat.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Day 21 (Circuit Class)

Remember a few entries ago when I totally bashed a lame-o BOSU class I took? Well Karma came around and hit me hard in the ass today.

My new favourite instructor in the whole wide world is so toned I am sure I could bounce quarters off her stomach. Nothing on her wiggles at any time, and she could probably bench me with one hand while doing backward clap push ups.

Class starts off with some quick step cardio. Fun and challenging but thankfully not to choreographed (thank god!) I would fall over my two left feet if I had to handle anything more than step, v-step, march in place. (I can't even make my hands work the same time as my legs, I must look like a back pain relief commercial.) I am glad most dance aerobics classes have stayed circa 1980 along with those dreadful leotards, bathing suit looking things, awful headbands, and coloured leggings over white sneakers. Can you imagine working out in that get up? Wedgie central I am sure.

After our warm up? Intense circuit training with 3 cardio drills in between. Oh My God.

I learned things to do that I never would fathom to do on my own, and I found muscles that I didn't know existed. Circuit stations ranged from push up (not the wimpy girl push ups I am so used to, but the full on all the way down real push ups with one hand balanced on a medicine ball to maximize every balancing inch in my body), burpees and shinnies that I haven't done since high school track practice, and a little thing called the "inchworm" which made me realize that my shoulders have clearly never been worked out to their full capacity.

After dropping and holding planks more times that I can remember, my entire core has a satisfying ache that now makes me shake uncontrollably in my ‘arms over my head as it is tougher’ v-sit, I wince in frustration that my abs are giving out on me, and I hear:


I want to punch her......but I love her for pushing me (I am a super fit wannabe you know).

Circuit classes are an amazing way to push you further. You can alter certain moves and workouts and go faster on the drills to push yourself harder. You don’t have to focus on anything other than doing your best and pushing yourself. The instructor will tell you when to move, what you are doing wrong, what you are doing right, when your halfway, when to switch. Combining cardiovascular fitness along with resistance training in an hour class, switching between the two, can provide a great full body workout. Keeps your heart rate up and provides a variety of different workouts at a short period of time each, so you don’t get bored. If you are looking for a class to give you a full workout, I recommend one such as this.

I have to go back on Thursday (shudder).

Monday, December 7, 2009

Day 20 (WEIGH IN DAY!)

For the first time ever in my whole life, I was excited to weigh myself. Why? Because I ate nothing but the best all-natural, organic when I could, no added ingredients to anything food all week (even my favourite pasta sauce had added sugar...why? Why does pasta sauce require sugar added? Needless to say I have a new favourite pasta sauce now, also a favourite new yogurt, canned tuna, soy milk, protein powder, pita bread, salsa, and canned veggies (added sugar to canned veggies and canned tuna? STUPID!).

I happily place the scale in front of me, and step on ever so gingerly as not to make the scale numbers spin out of whack and give me a heart attack.


drum roll please....

FOUR POUNDS LIGHTER! Haaaaaaaaaallelujah!

Now, you may be wondering what my weight is. However, due to the pressures that society has beaten in my head growing up, I do not feel comfortable divulging such information on the world wide web. You will be happy to know that I have taken "before" pictures and (gulp) a video, where I say my 'before" weight and also take my "before" measurements—Worst. Moment. Ever.

This video remains hidden in a box, under lock and key, with a secret pass code, buried in my yard. Until the day I am super fit and skinny and feel comfortable enough showing my former fatty self.

I am so happy, even despite the following:
- I woke up late and my hair is just not doing it for me today
- I poked my eye with my mascara brush leaving a huge black smudge on my eyelid that I can't seem to get 100% rid of.
- The fact that I forgot to make my super healthy lunch and had to just grab a bunch of ingredients and throw them in my bag so I wouldn't be late for work.
- The frigid temperatures outside today
- My mittens are not doing their job
- These are the wrong underwear to have on with these pants.

I am so so sooooo happy. Elated even. Losing weight is an instant upper, and my skinny high is going to last all week, motivating me even more to keep pushing really extra hard at the gym, taking the extra hours a week to prepare five small balanced extremely healthy meals a day with all the nutrients, vitamins, minerals, carbs, and protein my almost fit body desires, drinking gross plain protein powder and water after a good muscle blast workout (how I miss my chocolate flavoured protein powder), and continue going to my new love hate class at the gym (more to follow on this tremendous ass kicker).

Almost one month has passed, and ten pounds have been lost. Yessssssss.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Day 19

Expecting to see my cubicle office decorated in "YOU'RE 30" paraphernalia and cake, I was extremely happy to come to work and find a simple Happy Birthday sign and some flowers (awwww).

I thanked everyone for the flowers in lieu of cake, but as soon as those words left my mouth a colleague brought over a huge box of glazed cinnamon doughnut roll things, fresh from the bakery, so warm and squishy with melty gooppy icing.

In a huge testament of my will power and devotion to the get fit project I did not have any! Yay me. I didn’t even have any when the line “but it’s your birthday” or “but I bought them especially for you” or you have been doing so great, what’s one little doughnut?”
Instead I just said “Thank you very much for the donuts, and even though I am not eating any it will make me happy to share them with the office, and I appreciate your gesture.”

So I passed them around the office (AND when people said "no thank you" I said "OK" and walked away, I did not say "it's my birthday, you have to have one" or "one won't hurt" and it was easy to not push food down someone's throat. Now, they all better remember this the next time I say I don't want any of their food.

I have three left on my desk, I am not going to push them on someone as "there is only a few left" or “I don’t want them to go to waste”. I am going to throw them in the garbage as the people here need another doughnut like I need a fork shoved into my eye.

I did receive some flack about not having one of my own birthday donuts when someone went out and bought them for me in a snow storm, but instead chomped happily on an apple. YOU chose to get them, not me, what more do you want from me other than a thank you? To eat it and then feel miserable all day long? Would that make you feel better?

I specifically said no birthday cake; do people think doughnuts are healthier than cake? Is it because people eat them for breakfast?

Doughnut? Donut? DO NOT!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 18

Today I am taking a class called BOSU Bootcamp.
Great, bootcamp means it will be hard, and I will have a mean instructor yelling at me to do "JUST FIVE MORE" and then when I do five more, she will say "THAT WAS TOO EASY GIVE ME FIVE MORE!" Then I will pant and sweat and my muscles will be so sore, but I will feel awesome and satisfied with my workout afterwards.

Good, this is what I want, I am a super healthy fit nut now, so I have to do stuff like this, not have, WANT to do stuff like this. A BOSU ball is the half balls you see around the gym, they are flat on one side and then the other side is just like a regular exercise ball.

I grab my BOSU-ball and a set of 12 lb weights, ready to give my core the sever lashing it so deserves. I look around and try to find the instructor, but don't see anyone looking bitchy enough to be a bootcamp instructor so I figure she isn't here yet, until this low voice cutey pants flower print donning hoop earring wearing long blond hair not even in a ponytail starts talking about how we are going to warm up.

Hmmm, not what I pictured as a bootcamp leader, but I am sure she will still make us push it. Right? I have a bad habit of pre judging people. I do not want anyone bigger or more out of shape then I am teaching me how to work out. You wouldn’t go to a dermatologist with an acne-wrinkle problem, or a fat nutritionist.
Our warm up starts similar to a step class, but instead of stepping on a nice hard solid surface, we are stepping up onto a BOSU Ball. Have you ever stepped on a BOSU? It is exactly like you would think, you step on it, and your ankles and feet cramp up as you are trying to stabilize yourself, my feet were so sore by the end of this class. Nothing else was sore except my feet. The whole class I spend all my time trying to balance instead of squatting and stepping and lunging and getting the work out I so desire. Now, I do understand that you use your core to balance, I am not a complete idiot, but there are other ways to engage your core while working out other than falling all over a wobbly half ball.

What is worse? At the end of the class we had to pair up and toss this stupid small ball back and forth, then we had to toss two balls, then one of us had to have our eyes closed while our partner tries to not the ball out of our hand. Then we all had milk and cookies and settled down for nap time.

I don't think you should leave an hour workout class with half a bottle of water left and no sweat on your brow. This was a waste of time, this is a class I would go to if I wanted an easy occasion to play with balls, however I can do that at home.

After class I ran for 25 minutes and then powered my oblique and abs with some kettle bell lifting and V-sits, getting twice the work out in half the time I am sure. Tomorrow I am trying a new class, wish me luck.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Day 17

Business Lunch meetings.
I hate them.
For the following reasons:
1. They are so long.
2. They always involve drinks.
3. ‘The company is paying’ so let’s eat and drink as much as we can fit into our bellies.
Today’s meeting was lunch at a pub. Pub food is not Get Fit Project friendly. Nothing on the menu looked edible to me, but my starving belly and I settled on a steak with a side garden salad. Luckily my waitress was an absolute doll and asked the chef to make sure there was no barbecue sauce, and to cook it “dry” with just pepper and garlic (it was so good) and of course I only ate 4oz of my steak, and no dressing on the salad. Everyone else filled themselves with bread, fries, beer, hi balls, pop, large steaks, poutine, deep fried something, and a dessert big enough to share with three people.
ALL THROUGH THE MEAL this is what I heard:
“Why aren’t you drinking?”
“Why don’t you want BBQ sauce?”
“No dressing on your salad?”
“Don’t you want a drink?”
“I suppose you aren’t going to have dessert either?”
“Just have a little drink.”
“Doesn’t your steak taste gross?”
“How are your mouthfuls of lettuce?”
“Do you want a martini?”
How annoying. I had enough, and had a little “snap” at one of our associates. He asked me for the billionth time why I am not drinking (apparently the answer “I don’t want any” is not acceptable, perhaps he was hopping I was pregnant—which I thought about saying, but then I would have some major explaining to do in 6 months when I am skinnier instead of fatter), I couldn’t take it anymore, with a serious face I say:
“I am a recovering alcoholic, and I would appreciate it if you stop forcing liquor on me.”
Everyone stares at me with wide eyes and I can see the guilt fill their eyes. Ha ha jerks, that shut you up. People look uncomfortable, well except the two people who know that I am not a recovering alcoholic, and of course (as they are a few drinks in) start busting out laughing and ruin my show. Now everyone is laughing (Jeeze, what if I really did have a drinking problem? You can have a drinking problem without being a full on alcoholic right?).
Why the force? Why can’t people accept the fact that I don’t want liquor? If the waitress comes over and asks me if I want a drink and I say “no” why does that open up a flood gate of questions?
When they ordered fries instead of a salad, did I ask them “why are your ordering fries and not a salad? Are you trying to gain weight?”
I think I may say this next time. In fact, I think I will.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Day 16

My new gym

I like it better thus far. But this wouldn’t be a bitch blog if that was all I had to say.

The steam room and the Hot tub are outside of the change room located in the pool area which means no more naked wrinkled old lady’s bending over and showing me their old wrinkled woohaas as they get out of the hot tub. YAY.

After my work out (where I pushed it until I almost threw up, thank you) I put on my bathing suit to go in the steam room. Happy that my tan is still lingering, I scoot over the steam room and open the door.
All men are sitting inside.
"Oops, sorry" I mumble and close the door.
Oh my gosh, how embarrassing, I walked into the men's steam room.
I walk around looking for the women's steam room.
There isn't one.
So I ask a dude standing outside the steam room if it is co-ed, he shrugs and scratches his ass (??? Why would you scratch your ass in front of a half naked woman?).
He then says "UHHH, ya, I guess so"
Does he not know what co-ed means?
No one else is around to ask and I am starting to get chilli, so I just go in.
"Um, are girls allowed in here?" I ask ever so cutely.
No one answers.
So I just go in and sit down, I figure they will tell me to leave if I shouldn't be here.
It stinks of boy in here.
I am overwhelmed by speed stick and man sweat. But I don't want to leave as I just came in, left, and then came in again. So I just bear with it, hoping that none of them fart in their super relaxed hot state.

After a satisfying steam I go back to the change room and have a shower. There are ten showers in the change room. TEN. They are all empty. I go to the furthest one and have a shower (by shower I mean let the hot water pulsate on my back for as long as I can handle it). When I am done, I open the curtain to grab my towel and am startled by this old lady standing there. RIGHT outside my shower (What the heck?).
So I finish towelling off, weirded out by this lady standing way to close to me as I was showering.
I leave the shower, and notice that the rest of the showers are empty. All of them. But this old lady needed to wait for MY shower?
Is that not weird? Why do weirdo's flock to me?

I can no longer move today as all my muscles hate me and apparently want me to die. I am currently having some “me time” watching TV and writing, I just stopped the TV on this Victoria Secret Final Two, something or other. There are about 30 girls on the TV right now, and they all look exactly the same to me. They all have long blondish wavy hair, they all are tall and stupid skinny, and they all have the exact same shade of tan. I hope they all trip.