Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Did you ever go to a workout class, and then get so annoyed that you just walk out? Yah, me neither.
OK I did.


The first incident was a cardio step dance class. I felt like a complete rusty tool as I could not keep up with anyone, I kept missing my steps, I kept going right instead of left, and there was no way I could do the turn step thing. I was trying hard to not get discouraged, but when I bumped into the person next to me as I pulled a Derek Zoolander and couldn't turn left, I just felt like a big fat elephant in a flower garden. So I left and registered for the 'intro to step basic' class and now I can happily turn properly while raising my arms at the same time. Ta-da.

The second incident, and most recent, was spin class. Oh spin class. I love mountain and trail biking which means I love spin class right? Wrong. I hate spin class for the following reasons:

1. Spin class bike seats are not the "soft-gel-filled-ergonomically-shaped-so-they-don't-hurt-your-girl-crotch-seats" like the one on my real bike

2. The spin instructors are always so mean and don't understand that even though my thighs are huge, it is mostly fat and not all muscle like their thighs, which means that I cannot bike as fast as they can.

3. There is always someone directly in front of me and I have to stare at their sweaty ass crack.

This last spin class was extra annoying, for the following extra reasons:

1. The instructor had this weird accent, I couldn't even tell what it was, let along make out what the hell she was saying.

2. She kept yelling "WOOOOOOOOOO" and wanted us to yell "WOOOOOOOOOO as if were all a bunch of drunk whores on spring break and not a bunch of fit-wannabes panting and out of breath.

3. She was asking questions and no one was answering (remember, out of breath from pretending to bike up mountains with our butts off the seat?) so she went on a rant about "How is she supposed to teach us if we don't talk to her and said "Heeeeeelllooooo" in that annoying ditzy way, and then made sure her hoop earrings where clipped in tight.
Bitch please!

I was fed up with her and what ever she was telling us to do because I couldn't make out what she was yelling, turn up the knob? Bring it to what speed? What the hell is a dik-fore?

So I left. I will never go back to her class as it is not enjoyable, and there are days when it is hard to get motivated to work out, the last thing you want to do is spend an un-enjoyable hour on an un-enjoyable seat listening to an un-enjoyable voice.
I downed a bucket of water (secretly wishing it was sociably acceptable to massage my sore bike crotch in public) and moseyed my way over to spend some quality time with the kettle bells and my ipod.

Ahhh, peace!


  1. Help has arrived!!!
    As a spin instructor I have answers to all points listed above.
    1. First, you will totally get used to the seat, but it takes a few classes. Second, you can buy (or borrow from your gym) a gel seat. It slips over top of the spin seat.
    2. Most spin instructors cycle too fast anyway. one, it's not safe, and two, there joints will far appart by don't worry about that one.
    3. duh, get their early and sit in front...or just close your eyes.
    ROUND 2
    1. Can't help you there
    2. All instrutos are 'WHOOO' girls...some over do it though
    3. Class participants (i.e. vocal feedback throughout) is proven to increase class retention. so next she yells out 'can you feel it?', you answer "YEAH!!!!!"

    That's all, enjoy :-)

  2. I had a step class and spin class just like that! LOL Talk about feeling defeated!

    I will say that once you find a spin instructor that meshes well with can be a blast! I lucked out finding one. He knows when to motivate us and when to back off. He also is super friendly in helping new people get set up in class. Helps you not feel like the odd ball out so much :) He also gives beginner and advanced instructions...and always reminds you to work at your own pace. And he tells people talking to shut it! I love that!

    The last thing that is so important is the music! Got to have good music. When I was stuck in that class I hated...she started playing trance music as we were at the peak of the workout. I seriously thought WTF! I need to get the hell out of here! LOL

    P.S. Love your blog :)

  3. Dani:
    Thanks for the great advice, I appreciate it.

    I hope I find an instructor like that! I will keep searching. I am so glad you like the blog, thank you for the compliment.

  4. Totally agree with Melissa!!! I used to crawl my butt out of bed @ 5am to go to Brad's spin class!! No one else would do. For those early morning classes he'd keep the lights low so that scary crawl out of bed look we all had didn't scare anyone away & the sweaty ass is not in the spotlight! Get a gel seat it totally makes a difference!