Friday, January 15, 2010

Day 58 (almost two months!)

I cannot type long as my arms no longer work. Tonights class kicked my ass (well, more specifically my arms and shoulder, my ass is actually fine) and I learned two very important points:

1. Lululemon has a total monopoly on every female ass in this class.
2. My shoulders are frail little weaklings.

I love this class, it is combination step and weight lifting, and it changes every week, so it is always different and I never ever ever get bored. I do, however, feel like my muscles are going to jump out of my skin and run away, screaming for mercy.

I went in being all awesome, grabbing two 10lb dumbbells, I mean, come on, I can life way more than that. BUT, I was not paying attention to my instructor, who has 8lbs dumbbells....did I mention she is also a bodybuilding instructor? And has won awards, contest, titles, and shows? She has only 8lb dumbbells...clearly I am in for a work out if she is only using 8lbs.

I love this instructor; she is so cute and awesome and looks like her body was carved by the gods themselves. She never yells at people, but yet manages to encourage, talk to, and promote class participation, if you are panting and trying not to die, she also allows you to answer with a nod, when asking you a question, rather than go on a rant like stupid accent bitch from spin class (grrrr).

In short, I love and want to be her. And I didn’t even get mad at her cute face when she made us do 10 more triceps-push-ups when she tricked me and said I only had to do five!

Everything was going great; I had a great spot in the room, lots of room to trip over myself if needed, a full view of both the instructor, and myself in the mirror...but then this goofy Frankenstein man stood directly in front of me! He blocked my view and didn’t do anything right all class, just stood there lifting weights, he had 25 lb dumbbells (which he could BARELY lift, but of course, he is a man and so strong, so heaven forbid he put them down and go get a lighter pair), and didn’t fasten his barbell properly so two weights fell off in the middle of class, startling the whole class, he also didn’t have his step set up and then tripped loudly. Sigh. How embarrassing! I am so glad that wasn’t me.

Now, before you just down my throat, I understand it is hard for people to go to a class, and of course it is embarrassing when you trip and fall all over the place, but no one else cares. I don’t care, and I hope he gives it another chance, I just hope he doesn’t stand in front of me dropping weights on my feet. If you are going to go to a class for the first time, do it right and start out like a normal human being and not a deranged steroid freak.

Directly after all of Frankenstein’s nonsense, another man jammed his finger between two of his dumbbells and started bleeding all over the gym floor (this is seriously true, it was an eventful class. Yet another man (5 men out of 30 women if you’re curious) thought it would be a good idea to wipe up someone’s blood with the towels provided by the gym.

BARFFFFF! How fucking putrid is that? People use those towels to wipe the sweat of their FACE! Uhg! I am never using a gym towel again. EVER! If people think it is acceptable to wipe up the blood of a stranger using communal towels, what the hell else do they do with those towels? Blow their boogers on them? Soak up their swass? SICK!

After swallowing my vomit from the blood towel incident, I trade my 10lbs in for 6lbs (secretly wishing I grabbed 2lb weights as my arms are about to fall off) and vow to learn how to work my shoulders better so I can come home from the gym and type without my arms screaming for pity and compassion.

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