It is Monday. The dreaded weekly weigh in time. I am groggy and I want to be back in my bed. But stupid work requires me to be there for some reason.
OK, I am ready. It is just me and you scale.
I take everything off as not to skew my results (right, like my underwear and tank top weight enough to make a difference).
I step on the scale, and feel my stomach curl up into a ball of pain and pity.
No change.
NO CHANGE!!!
After a heroic week of being completely awesome, I have not lost even a pound?
I want to die.
Well, maybe I am reading it wrong; I get off, then step on it again.
UHG!
Maybe I just can't see properly, it is really early.
I crouch down with my feet still planted firmly on the scale, I am now in a drunken gargoyle position and I really hope my boyfriend does not come in here and see me posed naked like this.
No change.
Stupid scale.
Clearly it is broken. I have been SO good this week. Turning down yummy food left and right, working out, eating all natural, not eating the pizza, beer, and buttery popcorn that everyone else had Saturday night. I hate my life right now.
This means I am doing something wrong. I run down stairs (in a towel, not naked) and start going through the foods in the fridge, making sure I didn't miss anything.
Fruit, Veggies, good.
Non GMO soymilk... AH-HA evaporated cane juice. "ASSHOLE! YOU MADE ME FAT!"
In the garbage.
Turkey meat....Dextrose! DAMN YOU! Sugar??? In TURKEY??? ARRRHHHGGGG!
Cow's milk cheese, GET OUT OF HERE!
What else, what else......Whole grain sprouted grain bread...good, whole grain tortillas....good, mmm salmon...yum.
OK, so stupid turkey, soymilk, and cheese are gone. Now I will be skinny.
I drive to work in a deep depression; my whole day sucks now due to my sucky attitude and sucktacular diet.
I get to work, my manager says "Good morning, you look like you have lost weight".
Yesssssssssssss I am so happy to hear that, except I am distracted by this irking clipping sound. Does anyone else have a person who clips their nails at work? He is clipping his nails, we all hear him, and he must be taking pre-natal drugs as he clips his nails A LOT. It is gross and annoys me.
I can’t believe there is no change.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Day 14 (Confession # 1)
Work out and push it, don't just go to the gym.
Confession # 1
Sometimes I don't really go to the gym.
I go to the gym, yes.
Do I always push myself into a panting sweat? No.
Do I sometimes just walk around the gym, do a few weights, go on the stationary bike for 10 minutes, lay on the mat and do abs and stretch for 10 minutes, and then sit in the steam room for 20 minutes, and then in the hot tub for another 20 minutes, and then grab a smoothie with an extra shot of protein powder, because: Hey, I'm at the gym and I just worked out?
Yes.
I spend hours there, but sometimes I don't really do too much in the way of 'gyming'.
All in all I probably burned about 100 calories, and then had a smoothie with 300 calories, so really I went to the gym and gained weight.
If I am not in a class, I am horrid. In a workout class I HAVE to push it because there are 15 other girls there pushing it and I don’t want to look like the wussy new girl who can't turn step turn.
So confession 1 is out of the way. No more half-ass workouts. Now I push myself hard, instead of meandering around hours in the gym and then pampering myself in the steam room and hot tub wasting 2 hours more than I need.
Come on, just because we are physically AT the gym, doesn't make us super healthy and fit.
Instead people are probably wondering why I am always at the gym but never getting any skinnier.
Here are my gym pet peeves:
1. Douchbaggy muscle heads who wear their stupid trucker hats cocked right while they lift weights.
2. Sluts who wear huge hoop earrings, heavy eyeliner, and have their hair done, while "working out" (by working out I mean trolling for douchbags while they do level one on the Stairmaster).
3. Any hot females who wear short shorts and a sports bra only. There are many reasons why I hate these girls, but truthfully, I want to be them.
4. People at the gym thinking that they know what they are doing, but really are being stupid, examples: Incorrectly lifting weights, stretching before they work out, not stretching properly after they work out, reading magazines on the stationary bikes going 3 miles an hour, people who bounce around on the elliptical (your head should remain still and you should WORK those legs and arms, not bounce around freely like a school girl in pig tails).
5. Pig tails.
6. Touching other peoples sweat.
7. People who fart while they are doing stomach workouts.
8. KIDS IN THE CHANGING ROOMS! Take your kids to the family room or keep them quiet next to you, do not have them next to me in the steam room asking why I have boobs or running around with their little penis hanging out dripping pee molecules in my hot tub water.
9. Gym towels. Are these things made from straw? They are scratchy and hurt my delicate skin.
10. Smelling other people
11. Having other people see me in my birthday suit.
12. Seeing other people in their birthday suit.
I have decided to join a different gym, for the many reasons above, and the fact that there are these naked women in the hot tub that position themselves ever so strategically over the lower jets, ahem, you know what I mean? So the jets hit their hoohoo?
What is gross about this (other than the obvious) is that these women don’t care if other people are in the hot tub whilst they enjoy their jet blasting alone time. This leads me to believe they must do other “private time” things in the change room. These are the same women who shave their legs in the steam room and pee in the pool I am sure.
Naked people around me in droves is weird. Yes, I know I have boobs, they have boobs, we are all female. But would it kill you to keep your bathing suit on when you leave the pool and enter the hot tub or steam room? What about when you finish showering, is it too much to wrap the towel around you? How about when you bend over and show everyone your brown starfish? What about when you are standing next to me and start a conversation with me while you are buck naked and have one of your legs propped up on the bench I am sitting on. Is that not weird for you? Can you be naked a little less? Maybe keep your nakedness to when you are showering and changing?
Maybe my new gym will be better? Stay tuned for an update.
Confession # 1
Sometimes I don't really go to the gym.
I go to the gym, yes.
Do I always push myself into a panting sweat? No.
Do I sometimes just walk around the gym, do a few weights, go on the stationary bike for 10 minutes, lay on the mat and do abs and stretch for 10 minutes, and then sit in the steam room for 20 minutes, and then in the hot tub for another 20 minutes, and then grab a smoothie with an extra shot of protein powder, because: Hey, I'm at the gym and I just worked out?
Yes.
I spend hours there, but sometimes I don't really do too much in the way of 'gyming'.
All in all I probably burned about 100 calories, and then had a smoothie with 300 calories, so really I went to the gym and gained weight.
If I am not in a class, I am horrid. In a workout class I HAVE to push it because there are 15 other girls there pushing it and I don’t want to look like the wussy new girl who can't turn step turn.
So confession 1 is out of the way. No more half-ass workouts. Now I push myself hard, instead of meandering around hours in the gym and then pampering myself in the steam room and hot tub wasting 2 hours more than I need.
Come on, just because we are physically AT the gym, doesn't make us super healthy and fit.
Instead people are probably wondering why I am always at the gym but never getting any skinnier.
Here are my gym pet peeves:
1. Douchbaggy muscle heads who wear their stupid trucker hats cocked right while they lift weights.
2. Sluts who wear huge hoop earrings, heavy eyeliner, and have their hair done, while "working out" (by working out I mean trolling for douchbags while they do level one on the Stairmaster).
3. Any hot females who wear short shorts and a sports bra only. There are many reasons why I hate these girls, but truthfully, I want to be them.
4. People at the gym thinking that they know what they are doing, but really are being stupid, examples: Incorrectly lifting weights, stretching before they work out, not stretching properly after they work out, reading magazines on the stationary bikes going 3 miles an hour, people who bounce around on the elliptical (your head should remain still and you should WORK those legs and arms, not bounce around freely like a school girl in pig tails).
5. Pig tails.
6. Touching other peoples sweat.
7. People who fart while they are doing stomach workouts.
8. KIDS IN THE CHANGING ROOMS! Take your kids to the family room or keep them quiet next to you, do not have them next to me in the steam room asking why I have boobs or running around with their little penis hanging out dripping pee molecules in my hot tub water.
9. Gym towels. Are these things made from straw? They are scratchy and hurt my delicate skin.
10. Smelling other people
11. Having other people see me in my birthday suit.
12. Seeing other people in their birthday suit.
I have decided to join a different gym, for the many reasons above, and the fact that there are these naked women in the hot tub that position themselves ever so strategically over the lower jets, ahem, you know what I mean? So the jets hit their hoohoo?
What is gross about this (other than the obvious) is that these women don’t care if other people are in the hot tub whilst they enjoy their jet blasting alone time. This leads me to believe they must do other “private time” things in the change room. These are the same women who shave their legs in the steam room and pee in the pool I am sure.
Naked people around me in droves is weird. Yes, I know I have boobs, they have boobs, we are all female. But would it kill you to keep your bathing suit on when you leave the pool and enter the hot tub or steam room? What about when you finish showering, is it too much to wrap the towel around you? How about when you bend over and show everyone your brown starfish? What about when you are standing next to me and start a conversation with me while you are buck naked and have one of your legs propped up on the bench I am sitting on. Is that not weird for you? Can you be naked a little less? Maybe keep your nakedness to when you are showering and changing?
Maybe my new gym will be better? Stay tuned for an update.
Day 13 my apologies
Apparently I do not know how to properly save my edited post. So if you incurred some spelling mistakes in the last posts I am embarrassed and sorry.
If you incur any spelling errors in the following posts, well I don’t have an excuse other than I have fat fingers and can’t always hit the keys properly. Actually, I was typing so fast because I needed to go work out. Yes, that is what I meant to say.
If you incur any spelling errors in the following posts, well I don’t have an excuse other than I have fat fingers and can’t always hit the keys properly. Actually, I was typing so fast because I needed to go work out. Yes, that is what I meant to say.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Day 12
My sides are KILLING me today, I did way too many oblique exercises yesterday (well, actually I probably did just the right amount), and every time I move or laugh I am reminded of them. Also, I apologize for the short post today, but I have had a massive city-wide traffic jam today and I am getting home well after 8pm which has thrown a huge wrench into my Friday night meal plan and workout. Grrrrr.
Still no cravings yet, well that is until I came home and saw a beautiful glass of red wine waiting for me. Yes, it was very hard to not gulp it down, especially since I just spent THREE HOURS in extremely stressful traffic. But, true to my pledge to go HARD CORE, I did not have any*.
For your enjoyment, please read the following list of lunch and snack items I saw around the office today:
Chocolate pudding with Reese's Pieces mixed in (I kid you not).
Left over Kraft dinner (I know, I didn’t know adults ate this either).
PB and Jam on white bread with that gross chicken noodle soup (you know the kind with the weird perfect squares of pinkish “chicken” ) with a half sleeve of white saltines crumbled up and mixed in until it was soppy cracker mush (Ba-ARF)
And an apple (yay)
I also had the following conversation:
Me: “Can I have a veggie or fruit tray for my birthday? I really don’t want you to buy a cake I am not going to eat”
Manager: “No”
Me: “Why not?”
Manager: “Because there is a bunch of birthdays that month, and we will buy one big cake for everyone’s birthday and celebrate them all at once”
Me: “Oh, well that makes sense; can I just have a mini veggie tray for me then?”
Manager: “No”
? I don’t know if this is a joke or not, but stay tuned until cake day, or as I am now calling it “Forceful Empty Calorie Remorse Day” and we will see if the little 'inconvenience' girl gets her way.
*This is the one hard core rule will be broken for a few hours on my bday, why? Because I am turning 30!!! I told the people at my office I was 28 and that I am actually turning 29, but somehow they found out, dammit! There better not be a huge HAPPY 30TH birthday cake on my desk or I am going to seriously lose my shit).
This rule will also be broken over Christmas.
It is the ONLY rule that is allowed to be broken.
Still no cravings yet, well that is until I came home and saw a beautiful glass of red wine waiting for me. Yes, it was very hard to not gulp it down, especially since I just spent THREE HOURS in extremely stressful traffic. But, true to my pledge to go HARD CORE, I did not have any*.
For your enjoyment, please read the following list of lunch and snack items I saw around the office today:
Chocolate pudding with Reese's Pieces mixed in (I kid you not).
Left over Kraft dinner (I know, I didn’t know adults ate this either).
PB and Jam on white bread with that gross chicken noodle soup (you know the kind with the weird perfect squares of pinkish “chicken” ) with a half sleeve of white saltines crumbled up and mixed in until it was soppy cracker mush (Ba-ARF)
And an apple (yay)
I also had the following conversation:
Me: “Can I have a veggie or fruit tray for my birthday? I really don’t want you to buy a cake I am not going to eat”
Manager: “No”
Me: “Why not?”
Manager: “Because there is a bunch of birthdays that month, and we will buy one big cake for everyone’s birthday and celebrate them all at once”
Me: “Oh, well that makes sense; can I just have a mini veggie tray for me then?”
Manager: “No”
? I don’t know if this is a joke or not, but stay tuned until cake day, or as I am now calling it “Forceful Empty Calorie Remorse Day” and we will see if the little 'inconvenience' girl gets her way.
*This is the one hard core rule will be broken for a few hours on my bday, why? Because I am turning 30!!! I told the people at my office I was 28 and that I am actually turning 29, but somehow they found out, dammit! There better not be a huge HAPPY 30TH birthday cake on my desk or I am going to seriously lose my shit).
This rule will also be broken over Christmas.
It is the ONLY rule that is allowed to be broken.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The Afternoon Wall (Day 11)
It is almost 3pm and I am all of a sudden tired and hungry (possible the worst combination) and would fight a small child for a slice of pizza right now. I settle on eating some peanuts, not the best choice of nut for a snack, but I am standing in from of the snack bar at my office, and as delicious as the double chocolate with white chocolate chunk cookies look, I have to stay true to the get fit project. I check the ingredients to make sure there is no added sugar, happy to find there is none; I pour some into my mouth. There there growling belly, eat some nuts now. With a settling down tummy I sit at my desk munching away. I continue to read my peanut package and get to the nutritional info:
18 g of fat per 30 grams of nuts.
O
M
G
This is a 60g bag of nuts. THAT IS 36 GRAMS OF FAT IN JUST A FEW MOUTHFULS OF NUTS!!!!
Uhg. Why does the world hate me today?
Bag of nuts is now in the garbage. I am still hungry and want to eat their salty goodness so to avoid temptation (and anyone seeing me eat peanuts out of my garbage) I turn the package upside down and make sure all the nuts topple through to the bottom.
Sigh. Decaffeinated Chai tea for an afternoon snack it is.
Salty foods always make me crave something sweet. This is why chocolate covered pretzels are so damn good.
Carbs+chocolate+salt=YUMMY!
But REALLY: Carbs+chocolate+salt=LARD ASS!
Now my sweet tooth has to be controlled with natural treats like grapes, and berries. I can’t take being hungry anymore and decide to sneak out for some food. I tell the receptionist to hold my calls and that I have to run out to meet a client (and by client I mean overpriced blueberries and raspberries from the local Safeway).
Now, those of you who do not visit a Safeway grocery store, it is just like any other grocery store except the majority of their clientele are 70+. There is ALWAYS slow white haired grannies counting change, and yelling at the cashiers about coupons. The absolute adorable thing about the Safeway today, is that in front of me, there is a couple, I would say about 80. They are standing in front of the berries with their arms linked together, she is trying to ask him if he thinks she should use fresh or frozen blue berries to make him blueberry bran muffins, he decides that the fresh ones taste better so they start grabbing a few pints of blueberries. They are so adorable, I sit back and wait for them to finish instead of my normal rushy self elbowing people to get out of my way as I am flipping hungry and am going to faint if I don’t get some nourishment. The granny is loading her cart with a very shaky hand, moving as slow as 80 year olds do.
She looks at the price sign of the blueberries and says:
“Five fucking dollars”
“snrrrrhggg BA ha hahahahaa” I snort out loud because old people swearing is funny shit, and they can’t hear me anyways.
As they move on, I grab 2 small things (pints) of blueberries and 2 small things of raspberries and a bag of snap peas.
I get to the till and?
$18.58
For my snack, well two days’ worth (okay okay, one day’s worth).
This, is yet another reason why people are fat. Healthy fresh food cost so much more. This is why I would normally have a granola bar for a snack (no, not the chocolate dip kind or the kind with peanut butter chips, I would have All-Bran bars or Nature Valley....but...alas...sugar has been added to them, so now they are nixed).
I go back to the office, and run to the break room to grab some tea, there are three people eating the following:
Pop tarts (Which I didn’t think adults ate)
Cheezies (Two Halloween sized bags, which also is a fat kid’s snack)
Doritos and a can of orange pop (Orange pop? Who over the age of 9 and isn’t getting a happy meal drinks orange pop?)
I decide to sit down with my snap peas and berries to set an example, and I get this remark:
“Don’t you get sick of eating rabbit food?”
Sigh.
Is all this conduct new? Is it just MY office? Do I need to go work at a nutritionist convention in order to get some peace?
“Don’t you get sick of eating neon orange sticks that mould doesn’t even grow on when it has been under the sofa for a year?” I say in a joking manor to try and get my peers to except my “weird” habits.
“Nope, I would rather be fat and eat what I want.”
Yeah right! Like anyone would RATHER be fat. Ya I hear people everyday say that they are trying gain weight, and they wish they could just be 2 sizes bigger, all the celebrities and models are fat, and if only they looked like Rosie O’Donnell or a had a torso like Happy Buddha, and of course all the diet companies out there that go bankrupt each year because no one wants to lose any weight.
I would like to tell Mrs. Orange powder lips, that I would rather be skinny, not to mention have arteries that work and clothes that fit. But of course, this type of behaviour is not appropriate towards people being unhealthy, only can you say such snide remarks to thin and healthy people (or in my case, thinner than they are). So instead I just smile.
As I leave the break room, the mousy girl from I.T. with the blonde roots and the black hair tells me:
“I wish I had your will power, don’t listen to what she says, it’s good that you eat the way you do”.
I want to hug her.
18 g of fat per 30 grams of nuts.
O
M
G
This is a 60g bag of nuts. THAT IS 36 GRAMS OF FAT IN JUST A FEW MOUTHFULS OF NUTS!!!!
Uhg. Why does the world hate me today?
Bag of nuts is now in the garbage. I am still hungry and want to eat their salty goodness so to avoid temptation (and anyone seeing me eat peanuts out of my garbage) I turn the package upside down and make sure all the nuts topple through to the bottom.
Sigh. Decaffeinated Chai tea for an afternoon snack it is.
Salty foods always make me crave something sweet. This is why chocolate covered pretzels are so damn good.
Carbs+chocolate+salt=YUMMY!
But REALLY: Carbs+chocolate+salt=LARD ASS!
Now my sweet tooth has to be controlled with natural treats like grapes, and berries. I can’t take being hungry anymore and decide to sneak out for some food. I tell the receptionist to hold my calls and that I have to run out to meet a client (and by client I mean overpriced blueberries and raspberries from the local Safeway).
Now, those of you who do not visit a Safeway grocery store, it is just like any other grocery store except the majority of their clientele are 70+. There is ALWAYS slow white haired grannies counting change, and yelling at the cashiers about coupons. The absolute adorable thing about the Safeway today, is that in front of me, there is a couple, I would say about 80. They are standing in front of the berries with their arms linked together, she is trying to ask him if he thinks she should use fresh or frozen blue berries to make him blueberry bran muffins, he decides that the fresh ones taste better so they start grabbing a few pints of blueberries. They are so adorable, I sit back and wait for them to finish instead of my normal rushy self elbowing people to get out of my way as I am flipping hungry and am going to faint if I don’t get some nourishment. The granny is loading her cart with a very shaky hand, moving as slow as 80 year olds do.
She looks at the price sign of the blueberries and says:
“Five fucking dollars”
“snrrrrhggg BA ha hahahahaa” I snort out loud because old people swearing is funny shit, and they can’t hear me anyways.
As they move on, I grab 2 small things (pints) of blueberries and 2 small things of raspberries and a bag of snap peas.
I get to the till and?
$18.58
For my snack, well two days’ worth (okay okay, one day’s worth).
This, is yet another reason why people are fat. Healthy fresh food cost so much more. This is why I would normally have a granola bar for a snack (no, not the chocolate dip kind or the kind with peanut butter chips, I would have All-Bran bars or Nature Valley....but...alas...sugar has been added to them, so now they are nixed).
I go back to the office, and run to the break room to grab some tea, there are three people eating the following:
Pop tarts (Which I didn’t think adults ate)
Cheezies (Two Halloween sized bags, which also is a fat kid’s snack)
Doritos and a can of orange pop (Orange pop? Who over the age of 9 and isn’t getting a happy meal drinks orange pop?)
I decide to sit down with my snap peas and berries to set an example, and I get this remark:
“Don’t you get sick of eating rabbit food?”
Sigh.
Is all this conduct new? Is it just MY office? Do I need to go work at a nutritionist convention in order to get some peace?
“Don’t you get sick of eating neon orange sticks that mould doesn’t even grow on when it has been under the sofa for a year?” I say in a joking manor to try and get my peers to except my “weird” habits.
“Nope, I would rather be fat and eat what I want.”
Yeah right! Like anyone would RATHER be fat. Ya I hear people everyday say that they are trying gain weight, and they wish they could just be 2 sizes bigger, all the celebrities and models are fat, and if only they looked like Rosie O’Donnell or a had a torso like Happy Buddha, and of course all the diet companies out there that go bankrupt each year because no one wants to lose any weight.
I would like to tell Mrs. Orange powder lips, that I would rather be skinny, not to mention have arteries that work and clothes that fit. But of course, this type of behaviour is not appropriate towards people being unhealthy, only can you say such snide remarks to thin and healthy people (or in my case, thinner than they are). So instead I just smile.
As I leave the break room, the mousy girl from I.T. with the blonde roots and the black hair tells me:
“I wish I had your will power, don’t listen to what she says, it’s good that you eat the way you do”.
I want to hug her.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Eating Healthy Rule # 8 (also, this is Day 10)
Eating Healthy Rule # 8
Don’t eat with boys
I sit down to eat supper with my boyfriend and his friend, for what I know will not be a fun night, for one, sports are on in the background, and for two I really want to eat pizza and drink beer. So, for our respective dinners:
I have:
Steamed beans
Some ww pasta ravioli stuffed with brie and herbs, no sauce, no oil, no pesto, nothing but chopped fresh tomatoes, yellow pepper, onion, garlic, and pepper
A grilled boneless skinless chicken breast (duh, is there any other kind? Bones and skin are skeevy)
A glass of water with a lemon slice
They have:
Hawaiian Pizza
A bottle of coke
I know right?
Boy #1 says:
His pizza is healthy as the crust is multi grain.
His pizza is healthy as it has pineapple on it.
Boy #2 says:
Nothing , as he lives with me and knows better.
Sigh!
I retract my need to lecture him about the differences of whole grain vs. Multi grain and I instead point out the fact the not only does he have many empty calories on his plate, but he has no vegetables. Where as my plate is loaded with about 3 servings of vegetables giving me lots of vitamins and fibre, which you need to poo properly you know. I ask him what else he had to eat today.
He ate:
X-Large double double
Sausage breakie sandwich
Apple fritter
3 junior bacon cheeseburgers
1 large fries
1L of grape Gatorade
1 large rootbeer
Pringles
I ate:
Two eggs with spinach and mushrooms
A salad with grilled chicken, chick peas, snap peas and tomatoes
An apple
10 almonds
A lot of water
He = skinny
Me = fat
Why. Can someone explain to me why this is? Do not give me the reason “woman are supposed to store fat for their babies” BS.
I finish my dinner, go out to the kitchen and lick every piece of pizza that the boys haven’t eaten yet (careful of course not to get any grease on my tongue) . As I walk away, he has the nerve to say:
“maybe you should try a piece, its working on keeping my ass small”
“HAVE FUN POOPING BRICKS TONIGHT! I HOPE YOUR ASS CATCHES ON FIRE!” I yell, feeling very satisfied that I put my spit over his next piece of pizza.
Now I am going to find his toothbrush and rub it in the toilet.
(just kidding)
Don’t eat with boys
I sit down to eat supper with my boyfriend and his friend, for what I know will not be a fun night, for one, sports are on in the background, and for two I really want to eat pizza and drink beer. So, for our respective dinners:
I have:
Steamed beans
Some ww pasta ravioli stuffed with brie and herbs, no sauce, no oil, no pesto, nothing but chopped fresh tomatoes, yellow pepper, onion, garlic, and pepper
A grilled boneless skinless chicken breast (duh, is there any other kind? Bones and skin are skeevy)
A glass of water with a lemon slice
They have:
Hawaiian Pizza
A bottle of coke
I know right?
Boy #1 says:
His pizza is healthy as the crust is multi grain.
His pizza is healthy as it has pineapple on it.
Boy #2 says:
Nothing , as he lives with me and knows better.
Sigh!
I retract my need to lecture him about the differences of whole grain vs. Multi grain and I instead point out the fact the not only does he have many empty calories on his plate, but he has no vegetables. Where as my plate is loaded with about 3 servings of vegetables giving me lots of vitamins and fibre, which you need to poo properly you know. I ask him what else he had to eat today.
He ate:
X-Large double double
Sausage breakie sandwich
Apple fritter
3 junior bacon cheeseburgers
1 large fries
1L of grape Gatorade
1 large rootbeer
Pringles
I ate:
Two eggs with spinach and mushrooms
A salad with grilled chicken, chick peas, snap peas and tomatoes
An apple
10 almonds
A lot of water
He = skinny
Me = fat
Why. Can someone explain to me why this is? Do not give me the reason “woman are supposed to store fat for their babies” BS.
I finish my dinner, go out to the kitchen and lick every piece of pizza that the boys haven’t eaten yet (careful of course not to get any grease on my tongue) . As I walk away, he has the nerve to say:
“maybe you should try a piece, its working on keeping my ass small”
“HAVE FUN POOPING BRICKS TONIGHT! I HOPE YOUR ASS CATCHES ON FIRE!” I yell, feeling very satisfied that I put my spit over his next piece of pizza.
Now I am going to find his toothbrush and rub it in the toilet.
(just kidding)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Attack of the Smokers (Day 9)
What is worse than a person sitting down to eat lunch right next to you having just finished a cigarette?
How about one on each side.
This is my lunch day from hell.
I was happily enjoying my turkey & mustard on sprouted grain bread sandwich with a side spinach salad with tzatziki instead of salad dressing (so yum) when smoker lady 1 sat on my right, and smoker lady 2 on my left. The last two seats at the lunch table. Yuck!
Not only is it gross to have to smell these two idiots through my lunch. But they decided it was a good idea to talk about how much they smoke, who smokes the most, how much they spend on smokes, what smokes they have tried, how they have tried to quit, and the most disgusting thing of all? They were eating chicken wings.
Two people, reeking of smoke, sucking chicken arm remains, talking about smoking.
(There is a grocery store across the street from my office that makes chicken wings everyday in their deli.)
Blah. I almost shot mushed up spinach at them, but having the ability to contain my hurl. I pretended I was full (right, like I get "full" from spinach) and got up to leave.
"What's her problem?" I heard one of them complain.
What is wrong with this picture? Why am I the bad guy? It’s not like I yelled at them, and lectured their fat-ass-yellow-teeth-chicken-bone-sucking-peanut-brains on the ramifications of having lungs full of toxins and a stomach full of chicken skin (come on, there is BARELY any meat on those wings). Why is it that people trying to make healthy choices get swatted down? Why can't they be praised? Why is it that people who choose to kill themselves with cigarettes get a special break? Why is it that people who choose to eat healthy are the 'inconveniences' at staff functions? This is why people are fat. They feel bad offending people. When in actuality, we should not be offending anyone. Why is it offensive to turn down food? I didn't ask you to slave over your stove last night; I am not going to eat your crap just because for some odd reason your feelings are going to be hurt. That is your problem, not mine.
Stand up for your choices.
I would like to eat my lunch at my desk, my quiet, peaceful, smoke free desk, however, I do need fuel and comical content for my blog.
Did you know that a battered fried chicken wing has 10g of fat?
TEN!
PER WING!!
That will be washed down nicely with their mayonnaise shake and lardsicle dessert.
How about one on each side.
This is my lunch day from hell.
I was happily enjoying my turkey & mustard on sprouted grain bread sandwich with a side spinach salad with tzatziki instead of salad dressing (so yum) when smoker lady 1 sat on my right, and smoker lady 2 on my left. The last two seats at the lunch table. Yuck!
Not only is it gross to have to smell these two idiots through my lunch. But they decided it was a good idea to talk about how much they smoke, who smokes the most, how much they spend on smokes, what smokes they have tried, how they have tried to quit, and the most disgusting thing of all? They were eating chicken wings.
Two people, reeking of smoke, sucking chicken arm remains, talking about smoking.
(There is a grocery store across the street from my office that makes chicken wings everyday in their deli.)
Blah. I almost shot mushed up spinach at them, but having the ability to contain my hurl. I pretended I was full (right, like I get "full" from spinach) and got up to leave.
"What's her problem?" I heard one of them complain.
What is wrong with this picture? Why am I the bad guy? It’s not like I yelled at them, and lectured their fat-ass-yellow-teeth-chicken-bone-sucking-peanut-brains on the ramifications of having lungs full of toxins and a stomach full of chicken skin (come on, there is BARELY any meat on those wings). Why is it that people trying to make healthy choices get swatted down? Why can't they be praised? Why is it that people who choose to kill themselves with cigarettes get a special break? Why is it that people who choose to eat healthy are the 'inconveniences' at staff functions? This is why people are fat. They feel bad offending people. When in actuality, we should not be offending anyone. Why is it offensive to turn down food? I didn't ask you to slave over your stove last night; I am not going to eat your crap just because for some odd reason your feelings are going to be hurt. That is your problem, not mine.
Stand up for your choices.
I would like to eat my lunch at my desk, my quiet, peaceful, smoke free desk, however, I do need fuel and comical content for my blog.
Did you know that a battered fried chicken wing has 10g of fat?
TEN!
PER WING!!
That will be washed down nicely with their mayonnaise shake and lardsicle dessert.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Day 8
The week of suffering has been a success. I did not falter, unless to notice there was hidden sugar in some foods I thought there was none (farewell my beloved turkey bites, you will be missed). The turkey bite incident prompted me to purge my pantry (which I have done many times before on many other diets).
I now have a garbage can full of pasta sauce, Indian sauces, drink mixes, sugar free candy & chocolates, cereal, bread, and canned goods.
What a waste of money!
It now takes me 3 hours to get groceries as I have to read every ingredient and not just make sure it is low in fat, calories, and carbs. I thought I would be safe if I grocery shopped at the organic grocery store, but alas....sugar in different forms were hiding in my food.
I do a weekly weigh-in each Monday morning. These few minutes before the weigh-in are more stressful then opening your front door to find a cop standing there. The final number directly affects my mood for the day. If I lose weight I am happy, elated, and motivated to keep up the good work. If I am the same weight, I feel ashamed, as if I didn't give it my all and that I just wasted a week. If I gain weight? Well, then I fall into a deep depression and swear off eating ever again, and will only live off water and the odd green leafy vegetable.
This morning....drum roll please...
1 lb lighter,
pfffffffftttt
Well, better than gaining right? So far in 2 weeks I have lost 6 lbs. Yay me.
Purchasing food with no sugar in it is HARD. I was definitely one cranky bitch at the grocery store the other day. It is really not a surprise why there are so many unhealthy people out there. Now, I am not just saying unhealthy as in fat (but yes, there are also a lot of fat people) I just mean unhealthy. The items that we put into our body on a daily basis are not good. I challenge you to read the ingredients and see all the crap that is in some of the food you are putting into your body. Why is there sugar in everything? Sauces, salad dressing, deli meats, salads, sushi, it makes me want to scream.
So how can we get away from sugar? Other than preparing every single meal ourselves from scratch, it is a hard feat, because where this is no sugar...there is the other devil: Artificial Sweeteners (booooo).
Now, saying that. I have given up aspartame and artificial sweeteners for the past 3 weeks. Since doing so, I have noticed that I can concentrate better, I haven't had any headaches, and my cravings for sweet things has gone away. BOOYAH!
Aspartame, sigh...SO bad for you, in fact most artificial sweeteners are. The backassward thing about aspartame is that many people use it to lose weight. However, there have been studies done which suggest that aspartame, although low in calories, causes way more damage than good, and ironically doesn't aid in weight loss, but can actually attribute to gaining weight around your midsection.
Having recently dissolved my love hate relationship with diet pops, and my many coffees a day with sweetener, I can honestly say I noticed a big difference. I bet you will too.
Google Aspartame or artificial sweeteners and you will probably be surprised with what comes up. There are websites out there that say Aspartame is fine, and it isn’t harmful and blah blah blah. I am not a doctor, nor a nutritionalist, but after educating myself on artificial sweeteners, sugars, and sugars by other names. I don’t feel I want to even eat sweets, it just isn’t worth it to me. The more you educate yourself on what you are putting in your body, the EASIER it will be for you to eat healthy.
A few of my favourites are:
http://www.naturalnews.com/022785.html
http://www.medicinenet.com/artificial_sweeteners/article.htm
I now have a garbage can full of pasta sauce, Indian sauces, drink mixes, sugar free candy & chocolates, cereal, bread, and canned goods.
What a waste of money!
It now takes me 3 hours to get groceries as I have to read every ingredient and not just make sure it is low in fat, calories, and carbs. I thought I would be safe if I grocery shopped at the organic grocery store, but alas....sugar in different forms were hiding in my food.
I do a weekly weigh-in each Monday morning. These few minutes before the weigh-in are more stressful then opening your front door to find a cop standing there. The final number directly affects my mood for the day. If I lose weight I am happy, elated, and motivated to keep up the good work. If I am the same weight, I feel ashamed, as if I didn't give it my all and that I just wasted a week. If I gain weight? Well, then I fall into a deep depression and swear off eating ever again, and will only live off water and the odd green leafy vegetable.
This morning....drum roll please...
1 lb lighter,
pfffffffftttt
Well, better than gaining right? So far in 2 weeks I have lost 6 lbs. Yay me.
Purchasing food with no sugar in it is HARD. I was definitely one cranky bitch at the grocery store the other day. It is really not a surprise why there are so many unhealthy people out there. Now, I am not just saying unhealthy as in fat (but yes, there are also a lot of fat people) I just mean unhealthy. The items that we put into our body on a daily basis are not good. I challenge you to read the ingredients and see all the crap that is in some of the food you are putting into your body. Why is there sugar in everything? Sauces, salad dressing, deli meats, salads, sushi, it makes me want to scream.
So how can we get away from sugar? Other than preparing every single meal ourselves from scratch, it is a hard feat, because where this is no sugar...there is the other devil: Artificial Sweeteners (booooo).
Now, saying that. I have given up aspartame and artificial sweeteners for the past 3 weeks. Since doing so, I have noticed that I can concentrate better, I haven't had any headaches, and my cravings for sweet things has gone away. BOOYAH!
Aspartame, sigh...SO bad for you, in fact most artificial sweeteners are. The backassward thing about aspartame is that many people use it to lose weight. However, there have been studies done which suggest that aspartame, although low in calories, causes way more damage than good, and ironically doesn't aid in weight loss, but can actually attribute to gaining weight around your midsection.
Having recently dissolved my love hate relationship with diet pops, and my many coffees a day with sweetener, I can honestly say I noticed a big difference. I bet you will too.
Google Aspartame or artificial sweeteners and you will probably be surprised with what comes up. There are websites out there that say Aspartame is fine, and it isn’t harmful and blah blah blah. I am not a doctor, nor a nutritionalist, but after educating myself on artificial sweeteners, sugars, and sugars by other names. I don’t feel I want to even eat sweets, it just isn’t worth it to me. The more you educate yourself on what you are putting in your body, the EASIER it will be for you to eat healthy.
A few of my favourites are:
http://www.naturalnews.com/022785.html
http://www.medicinenet.com/artificial_sweeteners/article.htm
Friday, November 20, 2009
Cubicles Suck. Hard. (Day 5)
They not only suck due to the lack of privacy when you are on the phone, or cruising super interesting and funny blogs, but also hearing your cubicle neighbour discuss such imperative things as the weird redish brown spot on his chin and his lame-o obsession with Hanna Barbera Characters, but I also have to deal with this: He eats chicken wings and coke everyday for a snack. EVERYDAY!
Not only am I grossed out by bones and skin in general, but the sound people make when they eat chicken wings is puke-inducing! Yes, I get it, the sauce is super tasty and you need to lick your fingers clean and stick the bones in your mouth and suck like a drunken sorority girl at the end of rush week. Perhaps you could do this in the lunch room? Or save your wing felatio fetish until you get home and can lights some candles and really enjoy yourself.
Does this only bother me so much because my own snack of light cottage cheese and sliced apple isn't as mouth-watering as deep-fried meat slathered in sugar sauce? Day 5 of this "get fit Project" is causing me to be a super bitch. Again I hit snooze on the alarm this morning. Many times. (This button gets more action than the candy necklace around the shirtless angel wing boy at a rave.) I have decided to give up on morning running (for now) and just do it in the evening. I feel better about this decision due to a recent comment from a reader. She is right, sleep is very important to overall health, and I can run when I get home....if I am not too tired ;)
I recently tried to fit some workout time into my day, I thought running in place and doing some old school push-ups and V-sits would be a better way to spend my 15 minute break, other than the usual water cooler nonsense I would have to endure in the lunch room. I waited for the other office drones around me to head to the lunch room or go out for their nicotine fix, and started jogging in place. I got a little bored and decided to do a little heel-step-kick jig, and since I am extremely uncoordinated I have to watch my feet as I do this. Rookie mistake! I look up, and there is my assistant. Staring at me like an idiot dancing in her cubicle. She puts a stack of paper down and mumbles something about them needing my signature and to sign my real name and not Ginger Rogers. I didn't get this joke at first; mainly because I didn't watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance in the 1930's. But I have decided that dancing in my cubicle, is probably a crappy idea to begin with. Most of the people here already think I am a dingbat because I tried to get the pizza party changed to a grilled chicken and salad party. I don't need to add more fuel to their fire. I will just dance in the bathroom stall from now on and if someone comes in I will just stop and pretend I am peeing.
Not only am I grossed out by bones and skin in general, but the sound people make when they eat chicken wings is puke-inducing! Yes, I get it, the sauce is super tasty and you need to lick your fingers clean and stick the bones in your mouth and suck like a drunken sorority girl at the end of rush week. Perhaps you could do this in the lunch room? Or save your wing felatio fetish until you get home and can lights some candles and really enjoy yourself.
Does this only bother me so much because my own snack of light cottage cheese and sliced apple isn't as mouth-watering as deep-fried meat slathered in sugar sauce? Day 5 of this "get fit Project" is causing me to be a super bitch. Again I hit snooze on the alarm this morning. Many times. (This button gets more action than the candy necklace around the shirtless angel wing boy at a rave.) I have decided to give up on morning running (for now) and just do it in the evening. I feel better about this decision due to a recent comment from a reader. She is right, sleep is very important to overall health, and I can run when I get home....if I am not too tired ;)
I recently tried to fit some workout time into my day, I thought running in place and doing some old school push-ups and V-sits would be a better way to spend my 15 minute break, other than the usual water cooler nonsense I would have to endure in the lunch room. I waited for the other office drones around me to head to the lunch room or go out for their nicotine fix, and started jogging in place. I got a little bored and decided to do a little heel-step-kick jig, and since I am extremely uncoordinated I have to watch my feet as I do this. Rookie mistake! I look up, and there is my assistant. Staring at me like an idiot dancing in her cubicle. She puts a stack of paper down and mumbles something about them needing my signature and to sign my real name and not Ginger Rogers. I didn't get this joke at first; mainly because I didn't watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance in the 1930's. But I have decided that dancing in my cubicle, is probably a crappy idea to begin with. Most of the people here already think I am a dingbat because I tried to get the pizza party changed to a grilled chicken and salad party. I don't need to add more fuel to their fire. I will just dance in the bathroom stall from now on and if someone comes in I will just stop and pretend I am peeing.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Day 4 (ever so sleepy today)
It is 6:30 am. I have hit my snooze button 4 times.
(Every morning I am amazed at how easily I can find a tiny little snooze button in my dream induced groggy state, but when I am supposedly awake and alert, I can’t find my purse or my jacket or my sneakers, which in comparison, are very large items I should have no problem finding.)
Four snooze hits may not seam like a lot, but at 15 minute intervals, I have slept away an hour of my morning. The hour I was going to use to (groan) get up and go running. This seams like such an easy feat. Why can’t I muster up the discipline to do this every morning? In the summer it is not so bad, it is warm, sunny, and green outside. But now it is dark, cold, and brown. UHG. I jump out of bed, annoyed that I missed my morning run. OK not that annoyed as I heart sleep and warmth. As soon as I get out of bed I am hit by a Mac truck of hunger pains. Now that I am a health-nut-in-training I don’t eat after 8pm (yes, I know this should be 7pm, but I don’t get home until 6pm, so I have set my cut off time at 8pm, leave me alone) so in the morning I am absolutely famished. I head downstairs for some uber healthy breakie: organic cinnamon flavoured wheat squares (Kashi Brand), vanilla soy milk, and a banana. I am sure I will be told that I shouldn't have a banana as they are “nature's junk food” but my diet regime now is natural. I just eat natural food, no processed crap. While I am eating this cereal, I realize that I am a bonehead and put regular milk in my cereal instead of soy milk. BARF! This now taste like plastic. I eat the banana pieces out of my cereal and throw the soppy milk filled wheat squares in the garbage (which I am sure will not go over well with my boyfriend as he is taking the garbage out leavening a trail of cinnamon flavoured milk drops behind him, oopsie).
Oh how I would rather be eating a warm blueberry scone with melting butter on it.
I look out my window to assess the weather and I count four female runners. FOUR. These people must not have jobs, or are stay at home moms, there is no way they get up and run before work in this weather...right? I want to be them.
Maybe if I stop making excuses and hitting 'snooze' I could be them. I could run into them in the morning and we would laugh about how are lulu's match and then we would be best running buddies.
Oh dear, on of my BRBs just spit on my driveway. I hope she trips over her stupid pink laces.
(Every morning I am amazed at how easily I can find a tiny little snooze button in my dream induced groggy state, but when I am supposedly awake and alert, I can’t find my purse or my jacket or my sneakers, which in comparison, are very large items I should have no problem finding.)
Four snooze hits may not seam like a lot, but at 15 minute intervals, I have slept away an hour of my morning. The hour I was going to use to (groan) get up and go running. This seams like such an easy feat. Why can’t I muster up the discipline to do this every morning? In the summer it is not so bad, it is warm, sunny, and green outside. But now it is dark, cold, and brown. UHG. I jump out of bed, annoyed that I missed my morning run. OK not that annoyed as I heart sleep and warmth. As soon as I get out of bed I am hit by a Mac truck of hunger pains. Now that I am a health-nut-in-training I don’t eat after 8pm (yes, I know this should be 7pm, but I don’t get home until 6pm, so I have set my cut off time at 8pm, leave me alone) so in the morning I am absolutely famished. I head downstairs for some uber healthy breakie: organic cinnamon flavoured wheat squares (Kashi Brand), vanilla soy milk, and a banana. I am sure I will be told that I shouldn't have a banana as they are “nature's junk food” but my diet regime now is natural. I just eat natural food, no processed crap. While I am eating this cereal, I realize that I am a bonehead and put regular milk in my cereal instead of soy milk. BARF! This now taste like plastic. I eat the banana pieces out of my cereal and throw the soppy milk filled wheat squares in the garbage (which I am sure will not go over well with my boyfriend as he is taking the garbage out leavening a trail of cinnamon flavoured milk drops behind him, oopsie).
Oh how I would rather be eating a warm blueberry scone with melting butter on it.
I look out my window to assess the weather and I count four female runners. FOUR. These people must not have jobs, or are stay at home moms, there is no way they get up and run before work in this weather...right? I want to be them.
Maybe if I stop making excuses and hitting 'snooze' I could be them. I could run into them in the morning and we would laugh about how are lulu's match and then we would be best running buddies.
Oh dear, on of my BRBs just spit on my driveway. I hope she trips over her stupid pink laces.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Day 3
Well yet another weird look today from a pushy grandmother type at my office, why do people get so upset when you turn down their stupid homemade pound cake. For one, who even eats pound cake anymore? And two, why am I offending you? I don’t like pound cake, I don’t want to eat your lard ridden empty calorie desert that my great grandma would dip into her sugar filled tea.
Why does this upset a person?
I just don’t get it.
If I offered someone some food, and they didn’t want it, I wouldn’t push it down their throat. No wonder there are little girls out there sticking their fingers down their throats. I remember my own grandmother lathering my plate full of fatty food and offering me a plethora of desserts to choose from, and usually I would have to have one of each so I can “try each one” like it would be the end of existence if I didn’t know which I liked better, the strawberry Jello tart or the rocky road squares with peanut butter chips.
I have decided that instead of saying “no thank you” which is inevitably followed by “no, you must try a piece, it is really tasty” I have decided to try another approach.
YES PLEASE GIVE ME ALL YOUR CRAP FOOD SO I CAN HAVE THREE CHINS AND FOUR ASSES JUST LIKE YOU.
Is what I say in my head.
I politely say “oh thank you, I just ate though and am really full, can I have a piece for later?” Then, when no one is looking, in to the garbage can it goes.
Day 3 of get fit project is going quite well, I looked at the piece of pound cake in the garbage and realized I probably saved myself about 400 calories. This means I only have to go on the treadmill for ten minutes tonight right?
Why does this upset a person?
I just don’t get it.
If I offered someone some food, and they didn’t want it, I wouldn’t push it down their throat. No wonder there are little girls out there sticking their fingers down their throats. I remember my own grandmother lathering my plate full of fatty food and offering me a plethora of desserts to choose from, and usually I would have to have one of each so I can “try each one” like it would be the end of existence if I didn’t know which I liked better, the strawberry Jello tart or the rocky road squares with peanut butter chips.
I have decided that instead of saying “no thank you” which is inevitably followed by “no, you must try a piece, it is really tasty” I have decided to try another approach.
YES PLEASE GIVE ME ALL YOUR CRAP FOOD SO I CAN HAVE THREE CHINS AND FOUR ASSES JUST LIKE YOU.
Is what I say in my head.
I politely say “oh thank you, I just ate though and am really full, can I have a piece for later?” Then, when no one is looking, in to the garbage can it goes.
Day 3 of get fit project is going quite well, I looked at the piece of pound cake in the garbage and realized I probably saved myself about 400 calories. This means I only have to go on the treadmill for ten minutes tonight right?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Get Fit - Day two
Well, so far so good, 48 hours of healthy living and eating. I have been off work for two days, and tomorrow, when I am at work, shall be a better test. Not only are remnants of Halloween candy circulating the office, but I am lucky to work in an office that has really good coffee, I mean, really good! Different flavours, individually brewed on a per cup basis, the smell is enough to make you sing from the rooftops. But since I am giving up caffeine, sugar, & sweetener...the regular 8 trips I make a day for said coffee has got to stop...that yummy coffee is out of the question. My coffee will be replaced with teas (green, chai, oolong, etc...).
I DREAD the beginning days when clients and companies start sending our office Christmas chocolates and candies, and the staff party where you will be expected to eat whatever is put in front of you.
Holidays deserve their own blog as they are torture to every dieter out there.
If you are as unlucky as I am, your office is filled with unhealthy drones that desire to be nothing more than what they currently are. I wish they could see the benefits of being healthy, maybe just get off their ass for ten minutes a day? Stop with the cancer sticks? Eat veggies once and a while? They don't cringe at the idea of lunch dates at McDonalds, or pastries for breakfast. It is hard to be surrounded by this type of mentality when you want to make healthy choices.
Constantly the battle, arguing with people who can't understand why you don't want a piece of their double fudge decadent chocolate cake topped with sprinkles. Um, empty calories much? Trans fats, laden with sugar?
"Oh, one little piece won't hurt"
Sigh, these people make me want to kick puppies!
I DREAD the beginning days when clients and companies start sending our office Christmas chocolates and candies, and the staff party where you will be expected to eat whatever is put in front of you.
Holidays deserve their own blog as they are torture to every dieter out there.
If you are as unlucky as I am, your office is filled with unhealthy drones that desire to be nothing more than what they currently are. I wish they could see the benefits of being healthy, maybe just get off their ass for ten minutes a day? Stop with the cancer sticks? Eat veggies once and a while? They don't cringe at the idea of lunch dates at McDonalds, or pastries for breakfast. It is hard to be surrounded by this type of mentality when you want to make healthy choices.
Constantly the battle, arguing with people who can't understand why you don't want a piece of their double fudge decadent chocolate cake topped with sprinkles. Um, empty calories much? Trans fats, laden with sugar?
"Oh, one little piece won't hurt"
Sigh, these people make me want to kick puppies!
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Get Fit Project. DAY 1
After going through hundreds of pictures from our recent Caribbean vacation, I have come to a very important conclusion.
I am fat.
Well, not heifer size fat, but fat enough that I have graduated to the tankini swimsuit and any pictures of me where I am wearing my bikini-bikini are now buried on the cutting room floor. The only pictures that have made it passed my rigorous screening are the ones where I am in the pool and you can only see me from the boobs up. Yes, if you rock the cleave and have the water cover your belly, shoulders back, chin up, and smile....you have the perfect make-you-look-skinny shot.
This is it, I have had it. Starting a diet, ya ya ya, same old same old, which diet should it be this time, counting calories? low carb? low fat? no dairy? cayenne pepper and molasses? OK just kidding about the last one, I didn't actually try the popular-yet-disgusting-sounding-lemonade-drink. I mean, even I have limits, not eating solid food can be saved for my 94th birthday cake smoothie.
This is get fit project day one. No more caring what anyone else says. If I want to eat a bag of carrot sticks for lunch and eat the green tea leaves in the bottom of my tea cup to suck up all the metabolism boosting goodness I can, then so be it.
No more agreeing to eat where ever my friends/boyfriend/coworkers want to eat, and absolutely no more "it is my birthday, you have to have a piece".
I always strive to be healthy, I say I like yoga, but really it annoys me, my gut gets in the way of all the good poses and I really hate hearing everyone breathe loudly, it is creepy. But, since I am a total health-nut-wannabe now, I have to give it another try.
No more running a few times a week...OK a few times a month. Hard core all the way.
Let us see how this goes.
I am fat.
Well, not heifer size fat, but fat enough that I have graduated to the tankini swimsuit and any pictures of me where I am wearing my bikini-bikini are now buried on the cutting room floor. The only pictures that have made it passed my rigorous screening are the ones where I am in the pool and you can only see me from the boobs up. Yes, if you rock the cleave and have the water cover your belly, shoulders back, chin up, and smile....you have the perfect make-you-look-skinny shot.
This is it, I have had it. Starting a diet, ya ya ya, same old same old, which diet should it be this time, counting calories? low carb? low fat? no dairy? cayenne pepper and molasses? OK just kidding about the last one, I didn't actually try the popular-yet-disgusting-sounding-lemonade-drink. I mean, even I have limits, not eating solid food can be saved for my 94th birthday cake smoothie.
This is get fit project day one. No more caring what anyone else says. If I want to eat a bag of carrot sticks for lunch and eat the green tea leaves in the bottom of my tea cup to suck up all the metabolism boosting goodness I can, then so be it.
No more agreeing to eat where ever my friends/boyfriend/coworkers want to eat, and absolutely no more "it is my birthday, you have to have a piece".
I always strive to be healthy, I say I like yoga, but really it annoys me, my gut gets in the way of all the good poses and I really hate hearing everyone breathe loudly, it is creepy. But, since I am a total health-nut-wannabe now, I have to give it another try.
No more running a few times a week...OK a few times a month. Hard core all the way.
Let us see how this goes.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Get Fit Project Rules
1. All healthy natural food is allowed
2. All sugars must come solely from the whole foods eaten (fruit)
3. No more artificial sweeteners (yes, this includes gum)
4. Continue with my running, but include more consistent weight training
5. No alcohol (except on my birthday and Christmas) for 3 months or 20lbs less, whichever comes first.
6. Watch the caffeine (have decaf or herbals teas only)
7. No crap food, not even as a “treat” or “I will have just a little taste”
8. Educate myself as much as possible on the food I am eating
9. Provide comic relief to myself and others via this blog
10. Inspire, share, and learn from other readers & followers of this blog (thank you everyone for your comments, ideas, and support).
Most people who read this blog are not new to dieting, working out, trying to lose weight, or eating healthy, so already we know the things we should and should not be doing. Already I know what foods to eat, I just need to make the effort to prepare them and make it consistent. It is really worth taking the time to educate yourself as you eat 4 to 6 small meals a day. let’s say you are like me and eat 6 times a day.
6 x 365 = 2190
2190 meals a year.
Now, it is definitely worth learning some recipes and how to make good healthy balanced meals.
I am sure by now all of us know the basics, work out, eat healthy, drink lots of water, get lots of rest, and laugh with your friends (happy is good). So, if we all know what to do, how come some of us are still struggling with getting in the shape that they want to be in? Well, I know why I am, so these are my rants and confessions, what started this whole bitchin’ blog.
2. All sugars must come solely from the whole foods eaten (fruit)
3. No more artificial sweeteners (yes, this includes gum)
4. Continue with my running, but include more consistent weight training
5. No alcohol (except on my birthday and Christmas) for 3 months or 20lbs less, whichever comes first.
6. Watch the caffeine (have decaf or herbals teas only)
7. No crap food, not even as a “treat” or “I will have just a little taste”
8. Educate myself as much as possible on the food I am eating
9. Provide comic relief to myself and others via this blog
10. Inspire, share, and learn from other readers & followers of this blog (thank you everyone for your comments, ideas, and support).
Most people who read this blog are not new to dieting, working out, trying to lose weight, or eating healthy, so already we know the things we should and should not be doing. Already I know what foods to eat, I just need to make the effort to prepare them and make it consistent. It is really worth taking the time to educate yourself as you eat 4 to 6 small meals a day. let’s say you are like me and eat 6 times a day.
6 x 365 = 2190
2190 meals a year.
Now, it is definitely worth learning some recipes and how to make good healthy balanced meals.
I am sure by now all of us know the basics, work out, eat healthy, drink lots of water, get lots of rest, and laugh with your friends (happy is good). So, if we all know what to do, how come some of us are still struggling with getting in the shape that they want to be in? Well, I know why I am, so these are my rants and confessions, what started this whole bitchin’ blog.
INTRODUCTION - What is the “GET FIT PROJECT”
What is the “GET FIT PROJECT”
It is me, trying to get really fit. Weekly progress reports are posted to the site, along with my fav recipes, food list, and exercises done. I have changed my diet, from being kind of healthy but still indulging in a lot of things I shouldn’t (aspartame, a lot of caffeine and coffee and diet pop, refined carbs, white sugar, lots of alcohol, and my weakness: chips (sour cream Lays to be exact, mmmmm) I am not someone who has ever been really big on fast food, ice cream, and many sweets, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have them from time to time. I came to realize that just because I don’t stock my own cupboards with pastries and junk, I still have them as snacks when I am out and someone offers them to me. My biggest diet nemesis: my office building!
My office has the densest population of unhealthy people I have ever seen. Chocolate bars and Cans of Pepsi are consumed as 10am snacks all the time. We have two SEPARATE companies that come in bi-weekly to restock the snack bar, or to sell us separate special junk. We have a pop machine that is not stocked with anything other than pop. We have three gourmet coffee machines that although serve green tea (unfortunately taste like an old wallet) and decaf coffee, they also serve many flavoured coffees and sweet drinks, there is no milk provided, only cream, and there is an abundance of white sugar to stuff into said coffee. Also, all Fridays are a smorgasbord of Tim Hortons' finest powdered treats.
Many of my ‘bitchings’ are from days in my office, the rest are just snippets from my life as I battle the bulge. I am by no means skinny, but I am also not a big fatty. Before starting this project, I was already active and knew what I had to do in my diet. It is simple, eat fewer calories than you exert. It’s the only way to lose weight, this is why anorexics loose so much weight; they take zero calories in but expend 1500 to 2000 a day (more if they work out). Approximately 3,500 calories is equal to one pound. So clearly you need to eat fewer calories, burn off more calories by exercising and voila, just like that you will be skinny. So, can I do it? Follow my progress on this blog. I hope it provides you with some good ideas, recipes, a place to vent your frustration should you want to leave a comment, and not to mention some comic relief on the everyday struggles of dieting or being healthy.
I have been asked a few times "why the drastic change?" the answer is simple: To Be Healthy.
A healthy diet can help you with the following things:
Clearer skin
Better immune system
Reduction in allergens
More energy
Better life
Let us find out if this works!
It is me, trying to get really fit. Weekly progress reports are posted to the site, along with my fav recipes, food list, and exercises done. I have changed my diet, from being kind of healthy but still indulging in a lot of things I shouldn’t (aspartame, a lot of caffeine and coffee and diet pop, refined carbs, white sugar, lots of alcohol, and my weakness: chips (sour cream Lays to be exact, mmmmm) I am not someone who has ever been really big on fast food, ice cream, and many sweets, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have them from time to time. I came to realize that just because I don’t stock my own cupboards with pastries and junk, I still have them as snacks when I am out and someone offers them to me. My biggest diet nemesis: my office building!
My office has the densest population of unhealthy people I have ever seen. Chocolate bars and Cans of Pepsi are consumed as 10am snacks all the time. We have two SEPARATE companies that come in bi-weekly to restock the snack bar, or to sell us separate special junk. We have a pop machine that is not stocked with anything other than pop. We have three gourmet coffee machines that although serve green tea (unfortunately taste like an old wallet) and decaf coffee, they also serve many flavoured coffees and sweet drinks, there is no milk provided, only cream, and there is an abundance of white sugar to stuff into said coffee. Also, all Fridays are a smorgasbord of Tim Hortons' finest powdered treats.
Many of my ‘bitchings’ are from days in my office, the rest are just snippets from my life as I battle the bulge. I am by no means skinny, but I am also not a big fatty. Before starting this project, I was already active and knew what I had to do in my diet. It is simple, eat fewer calories than you exert. It’s the only way to lose weight, this is why anorexics loose so much weight; they take zero calories in but expend 1500 to 2000 a day (more if they work out). Approximately 3,500 calories is equal to one pound. So clearly you need to eat fewer calories, burn off more calories by exercising and voila, just like that you will be skinny. So, can I do it? Follow my progress on this blog. I hope it provides you with some good ideas, recipes, a place to vent your frustration should you want to leave a comment, and not to mention some comic relief on the everyday struggles of dieting or being healthy.
I have been asked a few times "why the drastic change?" the answer is simple: To Be Healthy.
A healthy diet can help you with the following things:
Clearer skin
Better immune system
Reduction in allergens
More energy
Better life
Let us find out if this works!
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