Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Run Fit Bitch Run

I give up on dumdum girl. Today she asked what sodium is, clearly she is beyond help.

As you may remember, one of my New Year’s Resolutions (other to morph into a super fit sex pot) was to run a 10K. Well, I am currently up to 5K runs, and I want to die when I am on the K 4, so I have a lot of training to do.

I was running in my adorable suburb, and I was approaching this couple walking in the same direction, they both moved over to the side when they heard me coming. When I passed them, I said “thank you” (by said I mean panted) and they didn’t say thank you. Instead I heard them snicker and laugh at me :(

Why would someone do this? Was it my jiggle ass? My sunglasses used as a hair band? Was I running slower than they were walking? Did I fart while I was running by? It certainly wasn’t my super awesome running jacket. I really wanted to turn around and tell Mrs. Too tanned and too bleached blonde and too tight jean wearing beyotch to shove it, but her boyfriend looked like he was a gang member who would cut me, so I just ran faster away from them hoping that they both trip, fall, and chip their front teeth beyond repair.

I was now approaching another couple, two boys....about 10 years old. They were dilly-dallying in front of me, when they heard me coming they moved out of my way and one of them told me I was doing a “good job”! AWWWWW how sweet, I wanted to turn around and give him a big hug, but since it is frowned upon to attack little boys, I decided to just say (pant) thank you.

Now, I am home with sore legs as I didn’t stretch my hip flexors or quads properly. Sigh, when will I learn?

Did you know that there are naked runs held all over the world? You couldn’t PAY me enough to be naked in front of people, let alone be sweaty and have all my business jiggling around for all to see. Mmrrph, sorry I just threw up in my mouth!

I wish I had their brazenness:

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