There is a nasty woman at my office; she must eat pizza, beer, a dead racoon, and beans for supper every night because the next day it smells like rotting carcasses in the bathroom when she leaves it. Usually I am pretty good at timing my bathroom breaks around her morning smell-a-thons, but today I couldn't hold it and really needed to go. So I had no choice but to plug my nose and deal with the smell of rottenness covered up with febreeze flower spray (no, it does not capture odours and eliminate them as the commercial suggests!) once I made it into the stall (trying not to pass out from holding my breath) I grabbed some TP and wrapped it around my head covering my nose and mouth, ahhh, I can breathe semi alright now, as I was sitting there, my blackberry dinged and I started messaging one of my friends (what...you have NEVER sent a text while peeing?) when I got up I almost dropped my blackberry case in the toilet, thankfully to have cat like reflexes I managed to catch it before it took a yellow bath, washed and dried my hands and left the bathroom.
Yes, left the bathroom...with the toilet paper tied around my head covering my mouth and nose like I was going to hold up my office. I was preoccupied with my near mishap of dropping stuff into the toilet and laughing about the text I read...I was almost to my desk before I realized this, and quickly ran back to the bathroom (obviously) my desk really isn't that far from the bathroom, but at this moment it felt like I was just running and running and I was not getting anywhere closer to the stupid bathroom (DAMN YOU SMELLY PIZZA BUTT) I made it to the bathroom, safe from colleague torment.
This happened at about 9 am this morning, and no one said anything about it too me all day, this leads me to believe that
1. No one saw me
2. They decided that I am a weirdo and they no longer want to speak to me.
Hey, did you see that girl upstairs? The one that eats that weird grain bread and runs around the office with her face covered in toilet paper? She is a freak! I heard she dances at her cubicle during her breaks.