It is Monday. The dreaded weekly weigh in time. I am groggy and I want to be back in my bed. But stupid work requires me to be there for some reason.
OK, I am ready. It is just me and you scale.
I take everything off as not to skew my results (right, like my underwear and tank top weight enough to make a difference).
I step on the scale, and feel my stomach curl up into a ball of pain and pity.
After a heroic week of being completely awesome, I have not lost even a pound?
I want to die.
Well, maybe I am reading it wrong; I get off, then step on it again.
Maybe I just can't see properly, it is really early.
I crouch down with my feet still planted firmly on the scale, I am now in a drunken gargoyle position and I really hope my boyfriend does not come in here and see me posed naked like this.
Clearly it is broken. I have been SO good this week. Turning down yummy food left and right, working out, eating all natural, not eating the pizza, beer, and buttery popcorn that everyone else had Saturday night. I hate my life right now.
This means I am doing something wrong. I run down stairs (in a towel, not naked) and start going through the foods in the fridge, making sure I didn't miss anything.
Fruit, Veggies, good.
Non GMO soymilk... AH-HA evaporated cane juice. "ASSHOLE! YOU MADE ME FAT!"
In the garbage.
Turkey meat....Dextrose! DAMN YOU! Sugar??? In TURKEY??? ARRRHHHGGGG!
Cow's milk cheese, GET OUT OF HERE!
What else, what else......Whole grain sprouted grain bread...good, whole grain tortillas....good, mmm salmon...yum.
OK, so stupid turkey, soymilk, and cheese are gone. Now I will be skinny.
I drive to work in a deep depression; my whole day sucks now due to my sucky attitude and sucktacular diet.
I get to work, my manager says "Good morning, you look like you have lost weight".
Yesssssssssssss I am so happy to hear that, except I am distracted by this irking clipping sound. Does anyone else have a person who clips their nails at work? He is clipping his nails, we all hear him, and he must be taking pre-natal drugs as he clips his nails A LOT. It is gross and annoys me.
I can’t believe there is no change.