Eating Healthy Rule # 8
Don’t eat with boys
I sit down to eat supper with my boyfriend and his friend, for what I know will not be a fun night, for one, sports are on in the background, and for two I really want to eat pizza and drink beer. So, for our respective dinners:
Some ww pasta ravioli stuffed with brie and herbs, no sauce, no oil, no pesto, nothing but chopped fresh tomatoes, yellow pepper, onion, garlic, and pepper
A grilled boneless skinless chicken breast (duh, is there any other kind? Bones and skin are skeevy)
A glass of water with a lemon slice
A bottle of coke
I know right?
Boy #1 says:
His pizza is healthy as the crust is multi grain.
His pizza is healthy as it has pineapple on it.
Boy #2 says:
Nothing , as he lives with me and knows better.
I retract my need to lecture him about the differences of whole grain vs. Multi grain and I instead point out the fact the not only does he have many empty calories on his plate, but he has no vegetables. Where as my plate is loaded with about 3 servings of vegetables giving me lots of vitamins and fibre, which you need to poo properly you know. I ask him what else he had to eat today.
X-Large double double
Sausage breakie sandwich
3 junior bacon cheeseburgers
1 large fries
1L of grape Gatorade
1 large rootbeer
Two eggs with spinach and mushrooms
A salad with grilled chicken, chick peas, snap peas and tomatoes
A lot of water
He = skinny
Me = fat
Why. Can someone explain to me why this is? Do not give me the reason “woman are supposed to store fat for their babies” BS.
I finish my dinner, go out to the kitchen and lick every piece of pizza that the boys haven’t eaten yet (careful of course not to get any grease on my tongue) . As I walk away, he has the nerve to say:
“maybe you should try a piece, its working on keeping my ass small”
“HAVE FUN POOPING BRICKS TONIGHT! I HOPE YOUR ASS CATCHES ON FIRE!” I yell, feeling very satisfied that I put my spit over his next piece of pizza.
Now I am going to find his toothbrush and rub it in the toilet.