Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Attack of the Smokers (Day 9)

What is worse than a person sitting down to eat lunch right next to you having just finished a cigarette?
How about one on each side.
This is my lunch day from hell.
I was happily enjoying my turkey & mustard on sprouted grain bread sandwich with a side spinach salad with tzatziki instead of salad dressing (so yum) when smoker lady 1 sat on my right, and smoker lady 2 on my left. The last two seats at the lunch table. Yuck!
Not only is it gross to have to smell these two idiots through my lunch. But they decided it was a good idea to talk about how much they smoke, who smokes the most, how much they spend on smokes, what smokes they have tried, how they have tried to quit, and the most disgusting thing of all? They were eating chicken wings.
Two people, reeking of smoke, sucking chicken arm remains, talking about smoking.
(There is a grocery store across the street from my office that makes chicken wings everyday in their deli.)
Blah. I almost shot mushed up spinach at them, but having the ability to contain my hurl. I pretended I was full (right, like I get "full" from spinach) and got up to leave.
"What's her problem?" I heard one of them complain.
What is wrong with this picture? Why am I the bad guy? It’s not like I yelled at them, and lectured their fat-ass-yellow-teeth-chicken-bone-sucking-peanut-brains on the ramifications of having lungs full of toxins and a stomach full of chicken skin (come on, there is BARELY any meat on those wings). Why is it that people trying to make healthy choices get swatted down? Why can't they be praised? Why is it that people who choose to kill themselves with cigarettes get a special break? Why is it that people who choose to eat healthy are the 'inconveniences' at staff functions? This is why people are fat. They feel bad offending people. When in actuality, we should not be offending anyone. Why is it offensive to turn down food? I didn't ask you to slave over your stove last night; I am not going to eat your crap just because for some odd reason your feelings are going to be hurt. That is your problem, not mine.
Stand up for your choices.
I would like to eat my lunch at my desk, my quiet, peaceful, smoke free desk, however, I do need fuel and comical content for my blog.
Did you know that a battered fried chicken wing has 10g of fat?
TEN!
PER WING!!
That will be washed down nicely with their mayonnaise shake and lardsicle dessert.

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