Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Day 3

Well yet another weird look today from a pushy grandmother type at my office, why do people get so upset when you turn down their stupid homemade pound cake. For one, who even eats pound cake anymore? And two, why am I offending you? I don’t like pound cake, I don’t want to eat your lard ridden empty calorie desert that my great grandma would dip into her sugar filled tea.
Why does this upset a person?
I just don’t get it.
If I offered someone some food, and they didn’t want it, I wouldn’t push it down their throat. No wonder there are little girls out there sticking their fingers down their throats. I remember my own grandmother lathering my plate full of fatty food and offering me a plethora of desserts to choose from, and usually I would have to have one of each so I can “try each one” like it would be the end of existence if I didn’t know which I liked better, the strawberry Jello tart or the rocky road squares with peanut butter chips.
I have decided that instead of saying “no thank you” which is inevitably followed by “no, you must try a piece, it is really tasty” I have decided to try another approach.
YES PLEASE GIVE ME ALL YOUR CRAP FOOD SO I CAN HAVE THREE CHINS AND FOUR ASSES JUST LIKE YOU.
Is what I say in my head.
I politely say “oh thank you, I just ate though and am really full, can I have a piece for later?” Then, when no one is looking, in to the garbage can it goes.
Day 3 of get fit project is going quite well, I looked at the piece of pound cake in the garbage and realized I probably saved myself about 400 calories. This means I only have to go on the treadmill for ten minutes tonight right?

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