Sunday, November 29, 2009

Day 14 (Confession # 1)

Work out and push it, don't just go to the gym.

Confession # 1
Sometimes I don't really go to the gym.
I go to the gym, yes.
Do I always push myself into a panting sweat? No.
Do I sometimes just walk around the gym, do a few weights, go on the stationary bike for 10 minutes, lay on the mat and do abs and stretch for 10 minutes, and then sit in the steam room for 20 minutes, and then in the hot tub for another 20 minutes, and then grab a smoothie with an extra shot of protein powder, because: Hey, I'm at the gym and I just worked out?
I spend hours there, but sometimes I don't really do too much in the way of 'gyming'.
All in all I probably burned about 100 calories, and then had a smoothie with 300 calories, so really I went to the gym and gained weight.

If I am not in a class, I am horrid. In a workout class I HAVE to push it because there are 15 other girls there pushing it and I don’t want to look like the wussy new girl who can't turn step turn.

So confession 1 is out of the way. No more half-ass workouts. Now I push myself hard, instead of meandering around hours in the gym and then pampering myself in the steam room and hot tub wasting 2 hours more than I need.
Come on, just because we are physically AT the gym, doesn't make us super healthy and fit.
Instead people are probably wondering why I am always at the gym but never getting any skinnier.

Here are my gym pet peeves:

1. Douchbaggy muscle heads who wear their stupid trucker hats cocked right while they lift weights.
2. Sluts who wear huge hoop earrings, heavy eyeliner, and have their hair done, while "working out" (by working out I mean trolling for douchbags while they do level one on the Stairmaster).
3. Any hot females who wear short shorts and a sports bra only. There are many reasons why I hate these girls, but truthfully, I want to be them.
4. People at the gym thinking that they know what they are doing, but really are being stupid, examples: Incorrectly lifting weights, stretching before they work out, not stretching properly after they work out, reading magazines on the stationary bikes going 3 miles an hour, people who bounce around on the elliptical (your head should remain still and you should WORK those legs and arms, not bounce around freely like a school girl in pig tails).
5. Pig tails.
6. Touching other peoples sweat.
7. People who fart while they are doing stomach workouts.
8. KIDS IN THE CHANGING ROOMS! Take your kids to the family room or keep them quiet next to you, do not have them next to me in the steam room asking why I have boobs or running around with their little penis hanging out dripping pee molecules in my hot tub water.
9. Gym towels. Are these things made from straw? They are scratchy and hurt my delicate skin.
10. Smelling other people
11. Having other people see me in my birthday suit.
12. Seeing other people in their birthday suit.

I have decided to join a different gym, for the many reasons above, and the fact that there are these naked women in the hot tub that position themselves ever so strategically over the lower jets, ahem, you know what I mean? So the jets hit their hoohoo?

What is gross about this (other than the obvious) is that these women don’t care if other people are in the hot tub whilst they enjoy their jet blasting alone time. This leads me to believe they must do other “private time” things in the change room. These are the same women who shave their legs in the steam room and pee in the pool I am sure.

Naked people around me in droves is weird. Yes, I know I have boobs, they have boobs, we are all female. But would it kill you to keep your bathing suit on when you leave the pool and enter the hot tub or steam room? What about when you finish showering, is it too much to wrap the towel around you? How about when you bend over and show everyone your brown starfish? What about when you are standing next to me and start a conversation with me while you are buck naked and have one of your legs propped up on the bench I am sitting on. Is that not weird for you? Can you be naked a little less? Maybe keep your nakedness to when you are showering and changing?

Maybe my new gym will be better? Stay tuned for an update.


  1. AHAHAHHHAHAH! my co-workers must think i'm retarded because I've been laughing histerically for the past 3 minutes while reading this. If I can comment on the naked thing, sorry chic but you're gonna have to get over it. And what's weird is the more prestige the gym, then more nakedness exposed. I don't understand the correlation but it's true. Perhaps because rich housewives get a better rise out of sweaty douchbags then they do from their own husbands, or perhaps they all secretly love themselves above any other and enjoy the site of their own nakedness.

  2. I don't mind hot people nakedness as much as old people nakedness, I guess I am an agist.

    I totally agree on your prestige nakedness correlation!