Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Rock that Tree Pose (Day 22)

Sorry about the disturbing picture, I just had to share it.

I have an ongoing love hate relationship with yoga. Most yoga classes I have attended have many things wrong with them, such as:
Really bright lights
Really hard floor
Instructors with annoying voices
A breathasaurus rex downward dogging beside me

However there are a few just fabulous yoga classes which take place in specific yoga rooms, for just yoga, not the multi-purpose room that doubles as a spin/step/BOSU/weight/cardio-jazz class.

When entering these yoga specific rooms, immediately you feel a calm descend over you. The lights are dim and not shining through your eyelids, the floor is soft wood, there is nice walls covered in soothing material, real bamboo plants, and perhaps a water fountain. The room is kept at a nice warm temperature and not the same cooler temperature as the rest of the gym, and if the yoga instructor is hot, well, that is just a bonus.

Alas, this was not the class I went to tonight.

Same room where spin/stupid BOSU/Jazzercise/and everything else is held, cold, bright, and my instructor? Well she is cute and little with a non-annoying voice. Yay!

I don’t know anyone at my new gym, so I am always trying to make new friends. A normal looking gal wearing the same back capris as I am, rolls out her cute flowered yoga mat next to me, and I say “ I like your yoga mat”, she doesn’t even say thank you, just looks at my mat (well, the gyms mat, that’s right, I don’t have my own yoga mat, I am a minority) and walks away to get a foam block.


I am scoping out the class and sizing up everyone in my head...lets see...pot smoker, poser, real yoga liker, can’t hold her child’s pose well and looks like she is getting ready for another activity and perhaps wondered into the wrong class, what the hell is that man doing here, man that girl can REALLY lift her leg.

Most times I find I get bored in yoga class, I do understand that I am there to relax as well as flexibility and strength training, but I don’t want to lay around next to all these people any longer than I have to (especially Ms. Bitch Nice Mat who keeps stretching over into my personal space). My gosh it is cold in here, I can see my instructors nips and so can the creepy old man in the front row. Ew. Is the guy behind me staring at me ass?

I need to develop my own classes, and record myself and then play it and watch me yell at myself and I will take the class by myself so no one gets in my space or snubs me with their superior yoga mat.

1 comment:

  1. Bitch Nice Mat goes to yoga hoping to find the 'nice girl' inside of her. Apparently that day has not yet come.