Christmas is coming! (Day 23)

I feel as if something is going to give this month, with Christmas just a mere 2 weeks away, the office has started with the abundance of sweets and treats.
I advised my office that I am, *ahem* "busy" on the staff party dinner night which includes the usual holiday feast: turkey soaked in gravy with mashed butter and potato slop, carrots (also coated in butter) and cranberry sugar goodness...I mean badness, and the yummiest, oh I mean the yuckiest...Stuffing.

Stuffing has all the tasty awfulness that makes Christmas and Thanksgiving the two days of the year where you eat only one meal, but yet consume enough calories to make up six meals. Now, I am not sure if you are used to dry stupid stuffing like I used to have when I was a kid, but the kind I am used too now (and need to have) is so fregging yummy, that it is hard to turn away.

Except this year. Because I am not making it, nor am I going anywhere that serves it. Sorry office, I regret to inform you I am busy the night of the Staff Christmas Party, I have a prior engagement (by prior I mean fictitious). No unlimited dessert table for me this year.

"What's wrong with Christmas dinner? Turkey and vegetables are good for you"

Yes, correct you are missy, but I really don’t think most people have turkey that isn't doing the backstroke in gravy, or veggies that haven't been mashed up with equal parts butter, and what is this yam potato with marshmallow fluff I hear so much about, it sounds like a dessert, but apparently people eat this as a dinner side. The sound of it makes me want to hurl. What if some of the fluff touches your turkey or gravy? ew.

Healthy option for Christmas diner?
1. No Gravy. Flour, fat, and salt? NO!
2. Roast your potatoes with spices and olive oil do not mash them with butter.
3. Have mashed yams/sweet potatoes (do not add butter or weird fluffy mallow).
4. Roasted squash.
5. Roasted turkey or chicken is good. Do not coat it in fat. I once saw a turkey that was covered in bacon, why was this done? To keep the moisture in. Well, if you learn how to cook a turkey right, it won’t be dry.
6. Have steamed veggies! Who says you can’t have asparagus with turkey?
7. Side salad? Yum!
8. Roasted apple for dessert, use cinnamon, nutmeg, walnuts, raisins, etc.
9. No nog.
10. Um, don’t sit next to the chocolates.

An average basic turkey dinner can yield over 1000 calories. This does not included a lot of butter or gravy, and definitely doesn’t include candied yam marshmallow, or casseroles, or anything “extra”. Add to this the before dinner treats, the after dinner dessert, the liquor, the second or third helping, and you can easily indulge in over 5000 calories for one evening.

You best get your butt to the gym for a 20 hour workout before, and after, this meal.