Sunday, January 23, 2011

Desperate to lose weight?

Often it does amaze me the length people will go to in order to lose weight, to be that dream size, to fit into society’s vision of attractive. Regardless of the health determents. It seems people hear "this will make you lose weight" and they are in line to sign up for whatever the next weight loss thing they haven't tried is. In my office ‘Mr. Chicken Wing Eater and Coke Drinker Extraordinaire’ was once on a diet where he was only allowed 800 calories a day, he rants that he lost weight (no shit Sherlock, you didn't eat) but also he complains that he was weak and had to sit down to do the dishes. WTF? In the (dreaded) lunch room, a lady announced "I think I am going to get that Lap Band Surgery next week". She announced it with the same normalcy as if she said "I am thinking about having Pizza for supper". She then complained it was expensive, and she would have to get a loan and be financed for it. This extremeness is normal to her, but when I spend $12 on a salad, it’s not normal, nor is it normal for her to get off her ass and go for a walk (free) to do some workouts in her house (also free) or for her to buy healthier food (cheaper than surgery!). She said this all as she was eating Burger King, I kept my big mouth shut, but had to of course bite my tongue so I wouldn't yell "You stupid fatty, stop shoving fries dipped in ketchup dipped in gravy chased with a double bacon cheese burger into your pie hole and you wouldn't need lap band" however, to vent my anger, when she asked me if she had something in her teeth, I answered “no” when really she totally had a soggy piece of burger lettuce stuck on her teeth.

I told her to come live with me for a week and she would lose weight, and she replied...and I quote...."no thanks, I think I would miss carbs too much". I was puzzled by this response from her as:

1. I eat carbs all the time, they are my fav. and

2. I was, at that moment, presently eating a sandwich and a salad loaded with veggies and had an apple sitting in front of me.

I said "I do eat carbs, I am eating them right now" and pretended to slay her with my chicken sandwich sword. She then quickly tried to think of another excuse, but didn't (probably because she knew I would snap a rebuttal down her throat) and instead started talking about lap band.

Do you want to go for a walk and eat an apple, its free? NO, that is silly.

Do you want me to cut open your tummy and stick a machine thing in there; it will cost you over $10,000? YES please. That makes way more sense.

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