In my time, I have seen some stupid food out there, food that really shouldn’t even be classified as food. But my trip to the Calgary Stampede last night would make any fit girl (or boy) cringe! Not only is there the long time staples of the fair going strong, but every year they add new retarded stuff that makes me faint when I hear about it and makes me vomit when I actually see people eating it!
Hot beef sundae (yes, potatoes-meat-gravy-sundae)
BBQ turkey legs (People are walking around holding a MASSIVE turkey leg in their hand gnawing away at the bone. SICK!) No pictures of this as vegetarians may scream. I eat meat, but anyone gnawing at a bone makes me queasy!
Anything you want on a stick is available on a stick (deep fried potato chips, hot dogs, and yes, even pizza. Pizza on a fucking stick!)
The regular fair crap: cotton candy, funnel cakes, elephant ears (beaver tails for those of you out east), corn dogs, mini doughnuts around every corner, sno cones, etc...)
Everything deep fried: zucchini, chicken, but, what takes the absolute cake are the following monstrosities I have witnessed:
Deep Fried Coke (I don’t know how this is possible, they have coke ‘syrup’ in a batter, I don’t get it either)
Deep Fried Macaroni and Cheese bites
Deep Fried Oreos
Deep Fried Twinkies
Deep Fried Cheesecake
Deep Fried Pickles (????)
Deep Fried Snickers Bars
And are you ready?
Deep Fried Jelly Beans
Deep Fried Gastric Bypasses also available
Yes, this is all true. This is not even the whole list of grossness available, but if I discuss any further I may hurl on my laptop. What else makes me hurl? The skinny boy sitting in front of me during the fireworks who I watched polish of the following in two hours time: Double burger and Fries, 1 slice of pizza, nachos, 1 large lemonade, and a bag of popcorn. Why is he skinny?!
In other news, clogged arteries are now free with your Calgary Stampede Entrance Ticket.
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